MADvent Calendar

Premise of Segment
The MADvent Calendar is a series of funny and ridiculous pop culture events that happened recently. This becomes the new cold opening for the show in MAD Season 3 and it possibly replaced the previous cold opening, MAD News. The segment begins with the announcer saying a random excuse for missing events that happened the past week. Then he says two real events resulting or causing into two fake events and the last event is about a person or thing have a bad experience that leads into the Opening Scene. It also has the days of the week and time.

Season 3

 * (Episode 53) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been stuck on an alien planet for a week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Friday, 10:30 PM: People who went to see the opening night of the Avengers finally go home after making sure there were no more scenes after the credits.
 * Tuesday, 4:00 PM: The woman accused of overtanning (Patricia Krentcil) turns out to be the robot from Hugo.
 * Saturday, 2:15 AM: Will Smith has a fever dream that looks something like this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 54) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been living in an undersea cave for a week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Monday, 11:30 AM: Britney Spears and Demi Lovato become X Factor judges, replacing Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger who become X-Men.
 * Saturday, 7:15 PM: In support of Jordin Sparks' anti-texting and driving campaign, Alfred E. Neuman does a cover of "Texty & I Know It."
 * Tuesday, 3:10 PM: The man in Edvard Munch's "the Scream" screams even louder after seeing this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 55) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been lost in the desert for a week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Saturday, 3:00 PM: Mark Zuckerberg gets married... to his hoodie jacket!
 * Sunday, 6:45 PM: Scientists warn that you could go blind watching the solar eclipse, and by that, they mean the movie (the Twilight Saga: Eclipse).
 * Sunday, 11:00 PM: MTV Movie Awards give their top prize to a film that looks nothing like this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 56) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been in bed with the flu for a week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Friday, 11:00 AM: Star Wars turns 35 years old or 912 in Wookie years.
 * Wednesday, 2:30 PM: The trailer for the movie, the Great Gatsby, premieres with a typo, making it "the Great Goatsby."
 * Sunday, 9:00 AM: Dads everywhere open Father's Day gifts that are just as cheap as this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 57) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been in a staring contest for a week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Wednesday, 10:30 AM: Pixar's new movie, Brave, marks their first movie with a female star, but the summer's 59th movie with an archer in it.
 * Tuesday, 6:00 PM: When New York's mayor bans soda cups over 16 ounces (oz), the movie theaters switched to the metric system.
 * Monday, 8:45 PM: Justin Bieber smacks his head into the glass trying to catch this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 58) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been stuck in suspended animation for a week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Wednesday, 5:00 PM: Ke$ha gets a lip tattooed that looks painful, yet still not as painful as listening to Ke$ha.
 * Thursday, 1:30 PM: The Women's Tennis Association tries to ban grunting from tennis... while everyone else tries to ban tennis by grunting.
 * Monday, 8:45 PM: The Supreme Court votes down everything that looks like this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 59) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've had your head in a book for a week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Monday, 6:30 PM: Alec Baldwin announces he is no longer bitter, then quickly yells, "I SAID ON  JITTER!"
 * Sunday, 11:00 AM: J. K. Rowling releases the cover for a first non-Harry Potter book called, "Larry Totter and the Case of the Recycled Magic."
 * Tuesday, 4:15 AM: Tom Cruise turns 50 and is serenaded with this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 60) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've had water stuck in your ear for a week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Friday, 10:00 AM: The movie, Ice Age, opens to huge crowds, who actually show up just to get out of the summer heat.
 * Tuesday, 8:00 AM: Disney re-designs the seven dwarves as something they call 7D, but the rest of the world calls it Adventure Time.
 * Saturday, 3:00 PM: Katy Perry says she's forming her own record label to produce more things that sound like this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 61) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've had your head in a freezer for a week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Tuesday, 1:30 PM: Snoop Dogg announces he'll change his name to Snoop Lion, then Snoop Cougar, then Snoop OS X.
 * Thursday, 4:00 PM: Oprah Winfrey reveals her natural hair!
 * Monday, 8:45 PM: With the Olympics over, all we have to obsess about is this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 62) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've had your head in the stars for a week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Monday, 1:30 AM: NASA's Rover Curiosity lands on Mars, accidentally killing a Martian cat.
 * Tuesday, 3:00 PM: Natalie Portman gets married, wearing her mother's original dress.
 * Friday, 7:00 PM: Sesame Street announces they want their show to look more like this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 63) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been hitting "snooze" for a week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Wednesday, 2:30 PM: A boy with a toy piece in his nose is overshadowed by his sister with a gaming system in her ear.
 * Friday, 10:00 AM: Smokey the Bear turns 68, but the party is ruined by a birthday cake fire!
 * Tuesday, 5:00 PM: Miley Cyrus tells barber, "I want my hair to look just like this (MAD Opening Scene)!"


 * (Episode 64) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been watching the leaves change for a week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Monday, 10:00 AM: Cartoon Network celebrates its 20th Anniversary, but is still not old enough to stay up past 9:00 PM.
 * Saturday, 3:30 PM: Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively get married, but avoid exchanging rings for fear of reminding anyone of the last ring debacle.
 * Tuesday, 6:00 PM: Morgan Freeman says reports of his death are a hoax, unless of course, the afterlife looks like this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 65) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you're chopping onions for a week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Friday, 11:00 AM: The Jonas Brothers reunite for a show at Radio City Music Hall, not realizing it's the Christmas Spectacular.
 * Monday, 8:30 PM: Mariah Carey agrees to join Randy Jackson as a judge on American Idol... until finding out he is one of Nicki Minaj's alter-egos.
 * Wednesday, 2:00 AM: NASA's Rover Curiosity sends back pictures of Mars' surface, which looks something like this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 66) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been carving pumpkins for a week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Friday, 2:00 PM: Chelsea Handler is attacked by a sea lion, but makes it to shore just in time to be attacked by a land lion!
 * Wednesday, 10:00 AM: Marvel announces Captain America will become president. DC Comics is now worried about the debates.
 * Saturday, 10:00 PM: Carly Rae Jepsen admits she can't get this tune (MAD Opening Scene) out of her head!


 * (Episode 67) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've just been brought back from the dead, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Monday, 7:00 PM: Children turn on their TV and are horrified... by yet another presidential debate interrupting their favorite shows!
 * Wednesday, 10:00 AM: Costume stores quickly alter their Justin Bieber masks... by painting them green!
 * Thursday, 8:00 PM: MAD rots your brain with their special Halloween... BOO.0 (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 68) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been staring at clouds for a week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Sunday, 2:15 PM: Miley Cyrus gets a tattoo quoting Teddy Roosevelt, forgetting he was the president who liked to talk a lot.
 * Wednesday, 4:00 AM: Astronomers discover Pluto has a fifth moon, but then state, "That's no moon, it's a space station!"
 * Tuesday, 9:00 AM: Olympic champions agree, the key to winning is avoiding this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 69) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been counting ballots all week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Sunday, 2:00 AM: Instead of setting her clock back one hour, Jessica Simpson sets her clock back one foot.
 * Tuesday, 8:00 PM: Voters everywhere rush to the polls, except for Alfred E. Neuman who rushes to the North Pole.
 * Saturday, 4:00 PM: Beyoncé agrees to do the Super Bowl Halftime Show, provided she could sing this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 70) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been baking pies all week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Monday, 5:00 PM: The leaves stop changing colors and begin changing shapes!
 * Wednesday, 1:00 PM: Recent polls show that watching football has become Thanksgiving's major pasttime, only after turkeys get the right to vote.
 * Thursday, 8:00 PM: After watching Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving Special for the billionth time, families have no choice but to watch this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 71) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been in a food coma for a week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Thursday, 2:00 PM: Lady Gaga holds a picnic to promote her new perfume, but is instead mistaken for a turkey.
 * Thursday, 2:30 PM: Lady Gaga explains who she is by putting on a concert, but is plucked and stuffed anyway.
 * Thursday, 3:00 PM: Families everywhere sit down and give thanks for everything but this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 72) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been baking Christmas cookies for a week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Sunday, 12:00 PM: Joe Biden makes a cameo appearance on Parks and Recreation before starring as Gandalf in the Hobbit.
 * Tuesday, 8:00 PM: A tall black hat brought children running to Frosty the Snowman, but had the opposite effect for Steven Spielberg's Lincoln.
 * Friday, 9:00 AM: Instead of giving naughty children coal, Santa Claus decides to give them this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 73) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been breaking New Year's resolutions for a month, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Sunday, 4:00 PM: Alfred E. Neuman praises his own television show by calling it filth.
 * Tuesday, 9:00 PM: After learning that three Lord of the Rings celebrities share January birthdays, the Zodiac sign has changed from Capricorn to Aragorn.
 * Saturday, 10:00 AM: The groundhog laughs at his own puppet shadows, which means many more seasons of this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 74) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been writing the wrong year on your homework for a week, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Monday, 3:00 PM: After predicting the world would end by the year 2013, the Mayans must now suffer through Disney and Pixar's Monsters, Inc. 3D.
 * Wednesday, 8:00 PM: At the People's Choice Awards, people choose not have to sit through anymore award shows.
 * Saturday, 11:00 AM: President Obama practices an inauguration speech, which sounds something like this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 75) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been hiding from your shadow all month, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Tuesday, 4:00 PM: Snooki gives Princess Kate parenting advice, while the Situation gives the Queen workout advice.
 * Wednesday, 11:00 AM: Scientists accidentally create a new particle and name it, "the Alfred E. Neutron."
 * Thursday, 7:00 PM: Snubbed by the Grammys, Justin Bieber instead rents a tuxedo and watches this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 76) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been nursing a broken heart for a month, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Thursday, 10:00 AM: Searching for the perfect Valentine's Day gift, men everywhere choose the "Sorry, I'm Not Ryan Gosling" card.
 * Friday, 8:00 AM: The first candy heart transplant is successful, until the patient winds up eating it.
 * Sunday, 5:00 PM: In honor of the Chinese New Year, people set off this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 77) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been planning your acceptance speech for a month, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Sunday, 2:00 PM: Jennifer Lawrence arrives for the Academy Awards... in a dress the press calls "sizzling."
 * Sunday, 3:30 PM: Hugh Jackman's chances of winning an Oscar increase when his fellow nominees are attacked by a tiger from Life of Pi.
 * Sunday, 4:00 PM: Audiences are shocked when the Award for Best Foreign Documentary goes to this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 78) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been eating candy hearts all month, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Friday, 12:00 PM: Scientists invented a chocolate that won't melt, then use it to build a rocket ship to the sun.
 * Sunday, 6:00 PM: A year after she releases "Call Me Maybe", Carly Rae Jepsen still hasn't received any phone calls.
 * Monday, 10:00 AM: Alarm clock companies go out of business when they started waking people up with this (MAD Opening Scene)!

Season 4

 * (Episode 79) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been dying eggs all month, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Sunday, 9:00 AM: Children finally find proof of the Easter Bunny when they wake to find candy and rabbit turds. Gross!
 * Monday, 2:00 PM: A week after giving Steven Spielberg's Lincoln an Oscar, the Academy yells, "APRIL FOOLS!"
 * Monday, 8:00 PM: Good things come in threes, so MAD starts Season 4 with this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 80) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been gorging on chocolate all month, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Friday, 3:00 PM: Jurassic Park returns to theaters in 3D, because 4D would mean having the audience eaten!
 * Tuesday, 8:00 PM: WrestleMania 29 breaks box office records, while RussellMania is once again seen by nobody.
 * Saturday, 4:00 PM: In honor of National Poetry Month, MAD asks you to find something to rhyme with this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 81) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been avoiding April Fools' tricks all month, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Friday, 8:00 PM: Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are snubbed for the best kiss at the MTV Movie Awards, but win best snub at the Annual Snubby Awards.
 * Monday, 1:00 PM: Star Wars fans express concern over how old the original cast will look in Episode VII, specifically Yoda.
 * Wednesday, 8:00 PM: Your parents have to suffer through Tax Season, but you have to suffer through this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 82) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been on Spring break for a month, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Tuesday, 9:00 AM: After Veronica Mars fans raised millions of dollars to fund the movie, fans of the Office raised millions to destroy all evidence of the last four seasons.
 * Friday, 6:00 PM: The new Tom Cruise movie about humanity abandoning Earth opens (Oblivion), causing humanity to abandon Earth.
 * Wednesday, 8:00 PM: Nicki Minaj is late to American Idol, because she is watching this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 83) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been picking on Justin Bieber all month, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Thursday, 11:00 AM: Zooey Deschanel gives two lucky dogs a new home... and new haircuts!
 * Saturday, 12:00 PM: Not to be outdone by Magneto marrying Professor X in New England, Stan Lee decides to marry Spider-Man's Aunt May at Comikaze.
 * Wednesday, 8:00 PM: Selena Gomez is seen out on the town with this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 84) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been looking for May flowers all month, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Tuesday, 8:00 PM: Glee attempts to boost its finale by enlisting two legendary actresses that kids have never heard of.
 * Friday, 5:00 PM: Star Trek: Into Darkness releases more hot pics from the set, but they're also in the darkness.
 * Sunday, 9:00 AM: Mothers everywhere awake to a disappointing Mother's Day when their children give them this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 85) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been watching paint dry all month, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Tuesday, 3:00 PM: One Direction visit their wax figures at Madame Tussauds, while 98 Degrees visit their wax figures in the dumpster out back.
 * Thursday, 8:00 PM: Bradley Cooper admits to living with his mother, but doesn't mention she also feeds him.
 * Monday, 4:00 PM: South Korea refuses to air Psy's new video, because it looks like this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 86) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been lost in the June gloom for a month, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Wednesday, 8:00 PM: American Idol hits an all-time ratings low, causing Nicki Minaj to say, "Wait, I'm still on American Idol?"
 * Friday, 2:00 PM: Researchers calculate that over six billion hours of videos are watched online per month or 45 minutes if you don't count cat clips.
 * Sunday, 10:00 AM: Father's Day becomes so insignificant, we interrupt our own joke to bring you this (MAD Opening Scene)!
 * (Episode 87) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been searching for a Father's Day gift all month, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Friday, 10:00 AM: The new My Little Pony movie sees ponies as girls, while movie producers see ponies as cash cows.
 * Tuesday, 7:00 PM: June marks National Accordion Month, which also happens to be National Ear Plug Month.
 * Saturday, 4:00 PM: Suri Cruise gets a multi-million-dollar fashion design deal, which is as absurd as this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 88) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been hearing the ringing in your ears all month? Here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Monday, 7:00 PM: Children everywhere get excited for the Fourth of July, or as they call it the 17th Anniversary of the movie, Independence Day.
 * Wednesday, 8:00 PM: Angus T. Jones gets replaced on Two and a Half Men as the producers change the title to "Just a Matter of Time, Jon Cryer."
 * Friday, 5:00 PM: The Lone Ranger starts wearing a mask, because he worked on this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 89) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been picking popcorn out of your teeth all month, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Sunday, 1:00 PM: America's Got Talent's Howard Stern says children see him as a Muppet, while Zoot from the Muppets says he's suing for identity theft.
 * Monday, 10:00 AM: Disney unveils an old-fashioned look for Mickey Mouse... along with an old-fashioned paycheck.
 * Friday, 2:00 PM: Donald Trump says that Modern Family is just as good as this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 90) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been looking for UFO's all month, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Wednesday, 3:00 PM: Stan Lee releases his own fragrance so that comic book fans can stop smelling like sweaty teenagers and start smelling like sweaty teenagers with superpowers.
 * Saturday, 8:00 PM: George Lucas gets married and then the screen quickly turns to the end credits.
 * Monday, 1:00 PM: Scientists make a 3D map of the human brain... and find this (MAD Opening Scene)!


 * (Episode 91) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been reading comic books all month, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
 * Tuesday, 4:30 PM: Duchess Kate Middleton gives birth to a baby boy who sadly looks like his grandfather.
 * Saturday, 9:00 PM: Beyoncé gives a fan a lock of her hair when she accidentally walks into it during a concert.
 * Wednesday, 2:00 AM: Scientists pick up radio waves from beyond our galaxy, which oddly enough sound like this (MAD Opening Scene)!
 * (Episode 92) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been ________________, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
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 * (Episode 93) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been ________________, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
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 * (Episode 93) - The MADvent Calendar announces that if you've been ________________, here are some MAD moments you may have missed:
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Trivia

 * In Episode 53, The news about the Avengers movie (from the top) is a reference to how every movie about the Avengers separately (Thor, Iron Man, Hulk, and Captain America) all show short scenes as sneak peeks for the Avengers movie, and the Hulk's animation looks similar to the one from Avenger Time.
 * In Episode 54, Alfred E. Neuman's title "Texty & I Know It" is a reference to LMFAO's song "Sexy & I Know It."
 * In Episode 57, the archers besides Princess Merida after the announcer announces that Disney and Pixar's Brave is summer's 59th movie with an archer in it are:
 * Hawkeye (the Avengers (2012 film))
 * Green Arrow
 * Katniss Everdeen (the Hunger Games)
 * Man
 * In Episode 64, the MADvent Calendar announces that Cartoon Network turns 20 years old, but is too young to stay up past 9:00 PM in the evening. This is a reference to [adult swim], the cable network that airs at 9:00 PM until 6:00 AM (8:00 PM until 5:00 AM Central time), that airs shows ranging from higher TV-PG to lower TV-MA. However, [adult swim] wasn't always one of Cartoon Network's programming blocks; it was introduced on September 2, 2001 as a former programming block before the channel itself was launched on March 25, 2005 as a cable network.
 * In Episode 67, the MADvent Calendar announcer's voice is heard as a nocturnal vampire known as... Count Dracula!