The Big Fang Theory

This segment is a parody of The Big Bang Theory and Twilight.

This segment is from the episode ArThor/The Big Fang Theory.

Plot
The segment begins with Edward Cullen. He talks about how to express his feelings with Bella on the chalkboard. But Jacob says the chalkboard is not for diaries but for equations like his. However, his equation showed him getting Bella so Edward tricks Jacob into chasing his tail and hitting him with a pan. He later talks to Bella into getting a date and she says yes, and that makes Jacob angry. So he decides to crash their dinner disguised as a dog but Edward found out it was him anyways. After that they begin to fight and Bella says that she rather be working with Ashton Kutcher in the summer. The segment ends with Ric Flair saying whoo!

Characters

 * Edward Cullen
 * Jacob Black
 * Crowd
 * Announcer
 * Bella Swan
 * Waiter
 * Ric Flair

Transcript
(Segment begins with Edward Cullen)

Edward Cullen: I'm in love with you, Bella. If only I knew how to talk to humans.

Jacob Black: Would you please not write your diary on the giant chalkboard?

Crowd: (Laughing)

(Edward Cullen looks embarrased while the crowd laughs)

(The scene goes to the opening title with faces and Edward and Jacob fighting each other and the them with Bella sitting)

Announcer: (With opening title) ♫ Vampires, werewolves, fighting over pretty girls it all started with a big fang. ♫

(Scene goes to the title "The Big Fang Theory" with a wolf howling)

(Scene resumes to Jacob and Edward)

Jacob Black: The chalkboards are for equations to solve problems. Like mine.

(Scene goes to the chalkboard with Jacob's equation, which said "Bella + Edward - Edward = Bella + Jacob?")

Crowd: (Laughs when it goes to "Bella + Jacob?")

Edward Cullen: Hey, is that your tail?

Jacob Black: What? Where?

(Jacob hits Edward with tail accidently)

Jacob Black: (Chasing his tail) Oh, I'm gonna catch the heck out of that.

(Edward hits Jacob with pan knocking him unconscious. Also crowd laughs)

Crowd: (Laughs)

(The scene goes to a moon with food (Peppers and tables) flying)

(Scene goes to Bella and Edward walking to her)

Bella Swan: Ugh. Is this still broken?

Edward Cullen: Oh, hey, Bella. Do you want me to carry you?

Bella Swan: I guess so.

(Edward takes Bella and takes her from the 1st floor to the 3rd floor. Also the crowd laughs)

Crowd: (laughter)

Edward Cullen: So, uh, you want to--you want to, like, go out for dinner?

Bella Swan: Ugh. That sounds so lame. So sure. Why not?

Crowd: (Short Laughter)

Edward Cullen: Great. I'll meet you back here in a minute.

(Edward goes through the door leaving a bat symbol on it. Also the crowd laughts)

Crowd: (Laughter)

(Scene goes to Edward, in a tux, putting on perfume that makes him handsome. Also the crowd laughs when he looks handsome)

Crowd: (Laughs)

Jacob Black: Where are you going? A mope in the woods?

Edward Cullen: For your information, I have a date with Bella.

Jacob Black: What?

Edward Cullen: I asked her to dinner, and she said--and I quote--(Sounding depressed) "Eh, why not?"

Crowd: (Laughs when Edward said "Eh, why not" in a depressed way)

Edward Cullen: Heh. See you, wolf bud.

(Scene goes to Jacob Black as Edward walks out)

(Scene goes to the same moon again but this time with sausages and cheese flying.)

(Scene goes to Edward and Bella in a table at the dinner)

Waiter: So that's an order of hot broth for the lady, and for the gentleman, absolutely nothing.

(Waiter walks away)

Waiter: (Talking to himself) Really glad I came in tonight.

Crowd: (Short Laughter)

(Mysterious dog falls between Bella and Edward. Also the crowd worrys)

Crowd: Ooh.

Dog: (With tail hitting Edward again) Ruh-oh. Ran I write your order?

Crowd: (Laughter)

Edward Cullen: Jacob?

Dog: (Gasps) How'd you know?

Edward Cullen: Uh, because other than nature boy Ric Flair, you're the only other guy I know who could turn into a wolf.

(Scene backs out to the people of the restaurant)

Ric Flair: Whoo!

Crowd: (Laughter)

Waiter: You know, you can also just ask for the check.

Crowd: (Laughter)

(Scene resumes to Edward and Jacob (Who is still in wolf disguise))

Edward Cullen: Now get out.

Jacob Black (Dog): Make me, deadwad.

Edward Cullen: (Growling)

(Edward and Jacob begin to fight on the table)

Bella Swan: Stop it.

(Edward and Jacob stop and Jacob spits out apple. Also crowd laughs)

Crowd: (Laughter)

Bella Swan: I--I'm...(Sighs)

Edward Cullen: See? She's choked up with love for me.

Jacob Black (Dog): No. She's conflicted because she really loves me.

Bella Swan: No, I'm bummed because I'd rather be working with Ashton Kutcher.

Ric Flair: Whoo!

(Crowd Laughs and segment ends)

Trivia
1. Edward with bats
 * The chalkboard at the beginning said "Vampire's Diary, not to be confused with Vampire Diaries.
 * In the opening title, the faces with symbols went as the following

2. Jacob with bones

3. Bella with frowny faces
 * The chalkboards beside Edward, Jacob and Bella in the opening scene said "I ♥ (With an arrow on it) Bella>" and "Bella + Puppies" with a puppy beneath it.
 * There were 14 crowd laughs in all and one crowd ooh.
 * Bart Simpson appears writing something when Jacob showed his equation.
 * There was a sign on the broken door that said "We're too lazy to fix this."
 * Another chalkboard said "Bark at car + Marry Bella -"
 * When Edward copied Bella's quote he said "Eh, why not" when Bella said "So sure. Why not?
 * When the dog (Jacob in disguise) took Bella and Edward's order, he sounded like Scooby-Doo or Astro from "The Jetsons".
 * Also when the dog (Jacob) comes on the table and asks for Bella's order, it resembles Scooby-Doo and the Curse of the Lake Monster.
 * At the end of the episode Bella's line was, "I'm bummed because I'd rather be working with Ashton Kutcher.", but in the promo for ArThor/The Big Fang Theory, her line was, "I'm bummed because I have to do more movies with you two."
 * In The Simpsons, Bart wears a red shirt and blue pants and shoes. But in this segment, the colors are switched, so in this one he's wearing a blue shirt and red pants and shoes.
 * The style is similar to the styles of CSiCarly, Uglee, Extreme Renovation: House Edition, Batman Family Feud, Ben 10 Franklin, Malcolm in the Middle Earth and GleeVR
 * Instead of Diary of a Wimpy Kid it was called "Diary of a Wimpy Vampire."