Kung Fu Blander

This segment is a parody of Kung Fu Panda.

This segment is from the episode Kung Fu Blander/Destroy Bob the Builder Destroy.

Plot
The segment begins at a book called "The Ancient Book 4th Edition Now with more prophecies." Soothsayer talks about how there was a peacock with a powerful weapon (cannon) will try to destroy Kung-fu but will be defeated by a black and white object. Po puts the book down and asks who that is. Soothsayer replies that she doesn't know because it's not in color. Just then, Lord Shen comes and says that Po cannot defeat his secret weapon. Po replies with his secret weapon is a SECRET CANNON by the book and he says he doesn't want to make him "angry" by ruining his big reveal. Lord Shen that's funny because "Angry Birds" are his big reveal and an Army of Angry Birds follow behind him. Po gets frustrated because he faced a snow leopard in the previous movie before and now he has to face a bird in which he says that these movies are getting worse. Po starts to attack and the Furious Five follow him. Just then, a green pig joins them saying Shifu thought a pig would round out the whole animal theme. Tigress got upset when she heard that the green pig brought the outfit. Lord Shen fires a Pink Circle Angry Bird in which it transforms into 5 groups and defeats all of the Furious Five and the green pig runs off saying "From now on, every moment is a gift". Po gets surprised and asks Lord Shen how he defeated the Furious Five. Soothsayer come in aura saying that nobody listens to her and only black and white can defeat Lord Shen. Po responds that he doesn't need a whole movie to figure this out and its him but a Green Circle Angry Bird hits him making him into a midnight ash color. Po thanks her by calling her an old goat in which he tells the audience that sounded mean but she really is an old goat. Po then gets hit by another Green Circle Angry Bird and then starts to run while Lord Shen fires his army of Angry Birds. Po walks Angry Birds style while avoiding the Angry Birds and one of them hits Lord Shen's temple creating points. A Green Circle Angry Bird asked Lord Shen that he destroyed his own temple but Lord Shen didn't care because firing them are so addictive. Po at this point tries to find someone black and white. At first he finds Pepé Le Pew who was going to kiss Penelope Pussycat but instead Po picks him up and Pepé Le Pew kisses an Green Circle Angry Bird which explodes and he says "What a woman". Po realizes it's not him and then goes to Thomas Popper Jr. teaching some penguins to dance. Po asks if he could take all his penguins and Thomas Popper Jr. replies that the penguins are teaching him how to be a better father. Po then asks if he heard what he just said and Thomas Popper Jr. cries down saying "What happened to my career" while Po takes a penguin and moves away slowly. Po then arrives at Lord Shen's place and his army of Angry Birds and says to "Prepare to meet your" but gets interrupted by a Green Circle Angry Bird exploding on the penguin. Po realizes it's not the penguin and pulls out Spider-Man but he gets exploded by another Green Circle Angry Bird. At this point, Po says it's not Spider-Man and pulls out a cookie, a sign, a photo, dice, and Pokémon's Reshiram & Zekrom but they all get exploded by a Green Circle Angry Bird. Lord Shen fires all types of Angry Birds and explode on Po which makes him say that he wins and there is nothing black and white that can defeat him Soothsayer replies to that saying "Not according to my book" and opens a curtain showing Black Spy and White Spy holding bombs. They both throw bombs at Lord Shen and defeat him and his army. Po says that book must be smart but Soothsayer says not really and holds a MAD book with Alfred E. Neuman on it. In the background, Black Spy and White Spy are shaking hands but they fall off and show they are full of dynamite and they explode, thus ending the segment.

MAD References

 * Spy vs. Spy

Characters

 * Soothsayer
 * Peacock in Book
 * 3 People in Book
 * Po
 * Lord Shen
 * Pink duplicating Angry Bird
 * Blue Triangle Angry Bird
 * Orange Square Angry Bird
 * Grenade Angry Bird
 * Tigress
 * Crane
 * Mantis
 * Monkey
 * Viper
 * Green Pig
 * Pepé Le Pew
 * Penelope Pussycat
 * Thomas "Tom" Popper Jr.
 * Penguins
 * Reshiram
 * Zekrom
 * Black Spy
 * White Spy

Transcript
(Scene begins at a book that says "The Ancient Book 4th Edition Now with more prophecies!")

Soothsayer: "The Ancient Book" (Book opens to "Prophecy #1: Evil Peacock) has prophesied (Zooms in on peacock) that a peacock (Goes to his cannon weapon and subtitles say "I'ma destroy you, Kung-Fu" to the 3 people) with a powerful weapon will try to destroy Kung-Fu (People say "Cool story, bro") but will be defeated (Peacock says "I'm serious) by a force of black and white. (Yin and Yang falls on the peacock creating a crash and people say LOL and NOOB)

(Po pulls down the book)

Po: Who would that be?

Soothsayer: Can't tell. This book not in color. Could be anyone.

Lord Shen: I highly doubt (Scene goes to Lord Shen) that you, Po, can defeat my secret weapon.

(Scene goes to Po)

Po: That secret weapon wouldn't happen to be a (Po holds up the book saying "Prophecy #2: The peacock has a... SECRET CANNON") cannon, would it, Shen? 'Cause I'd hate to make you angry by ruining your big reveal.

(Scene goes to Lord Shen)

Lord Shen: How funny, (Scene backs out to show a Pink Circle Angry Bird) because an Angry Bird is my (Scene backs out) big reveal.

(Angry Birds wearing helmets and in different shapes and colors appear)

Angry Birds: Yah-Hah!

(Scene goes to Po, who face palmed)

Po: Aw, come on. Last movie I fought a snow leopard. Now I'm fighting a bird? Is it me, or are these movies getting worse?

(Scene goes to the title "Kung Fu Blander" with music playing and a gong is heard)

(Scene goes to Po and the Furious Five appear quickly and a green pig comes from the left side)

Green Pig: Hey, guys, sorry I'm late. Shifu thought a pig would round out the whole animal team theme.

Tigress: You buy that outfit or rent it?

Green Pig: Bought it.

Tigress: Too bad.

(Scene goes to Lord Shen firing a Pink Circle Angry Bird)

Lord Shen: Fire!

(Lord Shen fires the Pink Circle Angry Bird)

(Scene goes to the Pink Circle Angry Bird flying)

Pink Circle Angry Bird: (While transforming into 5 groups) Hee hee hee!

(Scene goes to all 5 Pink Circle Angry Birds landing on each of the Furious Five)

(Scene zooms in on Green Pig)

Green Pig: From now on, every moment is a gift.

(Green Pig runs off and scene goes to Po looking surprised)

Po: (Gasp) (Looks at Lord Shen) How could you defeat the Furious Five?

(Soothsayer comes in with blue shadow around her)

Soothsayer: Nobody listens to me. I said only black and white can defeat Shen.

(Scene goes to passed out Mantis)

Soothsayer: I see green, (Scene goes to passed out Tigress) orange, (Scene goes to passed out Monkey) I see brown.

(Scene goes back to Soothsayer)

Soothsayer: It's like Walt Disney threw up.

Po: Black and white, huh? I don't need a whole movie to figure this out. It's me!

(Green Circle Angry Bird hits Po creating a boom and makes him a midnight ash color.)

(Soothsayer appears holding a color chart)

Soothsayer: I guess you're more of a midnight ash.

(Gong is heard)

Po: Now you tell me. (Starts to walk away) Thanks a lot, you old goat. (Po reappears on the left) That sounded mean, but actually, she is an old goat.

(Po gets hit by a Green Circle Angry Bird creating a boom)

Po: Aah! (Runs away)

(Scene goes to Lord Shen)

Lord Shen: Die, Po, and let kung-fu die with you! Ah ha ha ha ha!

(Scene goes to Po running away Angry Birds style from Lord Shen who is firing Angry Birds at him)

Blue Triangle Angry Bird: Ooh!

Green Circle Angry Bird: Whee! (And explodes)

Pink Circle Angry Bird: He he he he!

Orange Square Angry Bird: Ha ha ha ha!

(Orange Square Angry Bird hits TNT that collapses the temple causing 2,000 points)

(Scene goes to Lord Shen and a Green Circle Angry Bird in the slingshot)

Green Circle Angry Bird: You know that was your own temple you destroyed, right?

Lord Shen: I know, but firing these things is so addictive.

(Lord Shen lets go of the slingshot sending Green Circle Angry Bird in the air)

Green Circle Angry Bird: Wheee!

(Scene goes to Po running away while Angry Birds try to explode on him)

Po: Black and white, black and white, gotta find someone black and white.

(Scene goes to Pepé Le Pew hugging a shaking Penelope Pussycat in the city)

Pepé Le Pew: My little mon cherrie (Zooms in on them), kiss me. Mmm (Po grabs him and aims him in the direction of a Green Circle Angry Bird), mmm, mmm.

(Pepé Le Pew kisses a Green Circle Angry Bird which causes an explosion and a boom)

Pepé Le Pew: What a woman.

Po: Ok, not him.

(Scene goes to Thomas Popper Jr. teaching penguins to dance)

Thomas Popper Jr.: And shuffle ball, step, shuffle ball, lunge.

(Thomas Popper Jr. lunges into Po on the right side.)

Po: Hi. I'm going to need all those penguins.

Thomas Popper Jr.: But these penguins are teaching me how to be a better father.

(Scene backs out)

Po: Did you just hear what you just said?

Thomas Popper Jr.: (Breaking down) What happened to my career?

(Po grabs a Penguin and backs away slowly while Thomas Popper Jr. is seen sobbing.)

(Scene goes to Lord Shen and his army of Angry Birds.)

Po: Ok, Shen. (Scene changes and Po holds up the penguin) Prepare to meet your--

(Green Circle Angry Bird explodes and creates a boom on the penguin)

Po: Guess it's not the penguin.

(Po puts penguin down and takes a black-suited Spider-Man giving the peace sign)

Po: Prepare to meet--

(Green Circle Angry Bird explodes and causes a boom on Spider-Man leaving some parts open)

Po: Or Spider-Man.

(Po puts Spider-Man away and takes out a black and white cookie)

(Green Circle Angry Bird explodes and causes a boom on black and white cookie)

Po: Or this cookie.

(Po puts the black and white cookie away and takes out a sign saying One Way ◄)

(Green Circle Angry Bird explodes and causes a boom on sign saying One Way ◄)

Po: That sign.

(Po puts away the sign and takes out a black and white photo of construction vehicles)

(Green Circle Angry Bird explodes and causes a boom on the black and white photo of construction vehicles)

Po: This photo.

(Po puts away the photo and takes out two pair of dice)

(Green Circle Angry Bird explodes and causes a boom on the two pair of dice)

Po: These dice.

(Po puts away the dice and pulls out Reshiram & Zekrom)

Green Circle Angry Bird explodes and causes a boom on Reshiram & Zekrom)

Po: These Pokémon.

(Scene goes to Lord Shen firing Angry Birds on his slingshot)

Lord Shen: Hoo ha ha ha ha!

(Scene goes to all the different kinds of Angry Birds laughing at Po)

Angry Birds: Hee hee hee hee hee hee.

(Scene goes to Po looking scared)

Po: Aah!

(Angry Birds explode on him causing a boom and scene fogs up)

(Scene shows Po in the dust looking defeated)

Po: Ok, you win. The prophecy was wrong. (Scene goes to Lord Shen and his army of Angry Birds while Po talks) There's nothing black and white that can beat you.

Soothsayer: Wait! (Scene goes to Soothsayer and two men behind a curtain) Not according to my book.

(Soothsayer opens curtain to show Black Spy and White Spy holding bombs and playing the Spy vs. Spy theme song)

(Black Spy and White Spy throw bombs at Lord Shen who he and his army of Angry Birds are looking frightened.)

Lord Shen: Nooooo!

(Bombs explode on Lord Shen causing a boom and destroys him, his army and his temple.)

Po: (While walking and talking to Soothsayer) That book must be pretty smart.

Soothsayer: Nah. (Holds a MAD book with Alfred E. Neuman on it) Not really.

(Scene goes to Black Spy and White Spy shaking hands and when they let go it shows their arms were full of dynamite)

Black Spy and White Spy: Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

(Arms of Dynamite blow up causing a boom and ending the segment)

Trivia

 * This segment was originally 'Smurfer 8', but got changed into Kung Fu Blander.
 * There were 2 prophecies in the book.
 * They were 3 people in the chapter 1 of the prophecy.
 * Lord Shen's secret weapon instead of a cannon was Angry Birds.
 * The Green pig that joined the Po's team was similar to Angry Birds' Green Pigs.
 * There was only 4 Angry Birds in the segment when there were 5 main Angry Birds in the game. This means that one of the main birds was not parodied.
 * The pink circle bird is a parody of the blue bird because of multiplication, but this bird makes another 4, making it 5 pink circle birds in total.
 * The blue triangle bird is a parody of the yellow bird because of it's triangle shape.
 * The orange square angry bird is a parody of the red bird because it didn't do much.
 * The green circle bird is a parody of the black bird because of explosion, but the green bird instead of waiting a second or more just explodes when it hits something.
 * The white bird was the only one of the 5 to not be made fun of.
 * When an Angry Bird hit the TNT, it caused that 500 points and another 500 points for destroying a ling and then 1,000 points for knocking down the temple. So in total, there were 2,000 points.
 * There were 6 penguins in the Mr. Popper Penguins scene.
 * Black Spy and White Spy appeared at the end defeating Lord Shen and shook hands but when they let go their arms were full of dynamite.
 * At the end, Soothsayer hold up a book saying "MAD" and Alfred E. Neuman was on the cover.
 * The first kung-fu person in the book looks similar to Abyo from the cartoon, 'Pucca'.
 * This is the second segment that the Angry Birds aired on MAD. The other is Rio-A..
 * The green angry bird looked like a grenade.
 * Antagonist: Lord Shen