Pooh Grit

This segment is a parody of Winnie the Pooh and True Grit.

This segment is from the episode Pooh Grit/Not-a-Fan-a-Montana.

Plot
The segment begins with a 15-year old Christopher Robin. He explains how Tigger tackled or bounced on his dad and went away scot free. So now he is looking for a marshall to help him hunt him down. Luckly Owl says that Pooh might do it but Pooh is not interested. But once Christopher Robin tells him about the reward, Pooh gets interested. But he tells him he is going to take a nap for 6 months. Once the 6 months are over, Pooh is gone. But Christopher Robin finds him with Rabbit so he rides on Eeyore to get across the river. Once there he meets up with Pooh and Rabbit. As the 3 of them walk, they encounter Tigger and knock him unconscious. Then he is tied and put near tree. Pooh explains he wants to take him in but other Jeff Bridges want to take him in too so they run to him to see who would get him. Before they did the scene turned to Christopher Robin telling what happened next. He said that they all crashed, killing Tigger, Pooh and the 3 marshalls and he got his revenge after all. In the next page, He is seen with the remains of Tigger and the 3 marshalls and the segment ends.

Characters

 * Christopher Robin
 * A. A. Milne
 * Tigger Wynthrop
 * Owl
 * Pooh Grit
 * Eeyore
 * Rabbit
 * Jeff Bridges
 * Jeff Bridges from "Tron"
 * Young Jeff Bridges from "Tron"

Transcript
(Scene begins with Christopher Robin)

Christopher Robin: I was just 15 when a coward named Tigger bounced my father.

Tigger Wynthrop: Hoo hoo hoo! Hello, man. I'm Tigger! T-I-Double G-Er. That spells Tigger. Last name is Wynthrop, but there's no fun way to say that, really. Anyway, I've got a lot of bouncing to do, so ta-ta for now. Hoo hoo hoo!

Christopher Robin: He bounced away Scot free that day.

(Scene goes to present)

Christopher Robin: And that's why I'm looking for someone to help me bring him in.

Owl: Who?

Christopher Robin: Tigger.

Owl: Who?

Christopher Robin: The tiger.

Owl: Who?

Christopher Robin: The guy who bounced my dad.

Owl: Relax, I hear you. I'm just being an owl. But you're in luck because the marshall's sleeping right behind me. Ain't that right, Pooh?

Pooh Grit: Ain't nothing I can do for you, son.

(Scene goes to the title card "Pooh Grit" and 2 gunshots are heard)

Christopher Robin: But I need you to help me get Tigger for bouncing my dad.

Pooh Grit: Not interested.

Christopher Robin: There's a reward.

Pooh Grit: Very interested. Now, let me take my nap and we'll head out when I wake.

Christopher Robin: How long will that be?

Pooh Grit: Well, it's hibernating season, so let's say 6 months.

Christopher Robin: Oh!

(Subtitles "Six Months Later" appear.)

(Scene goes to Christopher Robin sleeping, Rooster crows)

Christopher Robin: Are you ready, Pooh?

(Scene goes to empty barrel, which Pooh was last seen)

Christopher Robin: Pooh?

(Scene goes to Owl eating a lollypop, making a slurp sound)

Christopher Robin: Where'd he go?

Owl: Who?

Christopher Robin: The bear.

Owl: Who?

Christopher Robin: The marshall.

(Long silence at Owl's face)

Owl: Who?

Christopher Robin: Grr!

(Christopher Robin walks out door)

Owl: I think Pooh is in my outhouse.

(Scene goes to outhouse, also flies can be heard buzzing)

Christopher Robin: I sure hope we're talking about the same Pooh.

(Horse neighs)

Christopher Robin: Huh?

(Scene goes to Pooh with another person riding away with horses)

Christopher Robin: You can't run off without me, Pooh!

(Scene goes to Eeyore)

Christopher Robin: Let's go, pony. Yeah!

(Christopher Robins moves like he is galloping but Eeyore isn't.)

Christopher Robin: What, are you low on steam?

Eeyore: Just self-esteem.

Christopher Robin: That's not the point.

(Christopher Robin hits Eeyore in the back with his tail, causing him to run)

Eeyore: (Roars)

(Eeyore and Christopher Robin jump in water)

Rabbit: Hey, Pooh, what's worse than being on a boat without an oar?

Pooh Grit: What?

Rabbit: Being on an Eeyore without a boat. Hoo hoo hoo.

Christopher Robin: (Wet) That is not funny. You are a thief and a low-life and you'd be better off if you weren't so attached to that jug.

Pooh Grit: Son, this jug will never leave my hand, literally. It's full of honey and it's stuck to me. See?

(Pooh hits Rabbit with his jar)

Rabbit: Oof. My tounge. (Mumbling) You hurt my tounge.

Christopher Robin: Why is he here anyway?

Pooh Grit: He, too, was bounced by Tigger. Wound up declaring it illegal.

Rabbit: (Still Mumbling) It's true.

(Pooh fixes Rabbit's tounge with the jar)

Rabbit: I don't know how, but you fixed it. (Back to mumbling) Wait, no, it's back.

(The 3 people with horses walk)

Rabbit: What? (Mumbling) I think I see a Tigger.

Christopher Robin: What?

Tigger: Hoo hoo!

(Tigger pushes Christopher Robin to ground)

Tigger: Hello, boy, I'm Tigger. T-I-Double G-Er. That spells Tigger.

Christopher Robin: Can you spell distraction?

Tigger: Distraction? Sure, let's see. It's a D--

(Pooh hits Tigger with the jar)

(Scene goes to sunset)

Christopher Robin: You bounced my daddy.

Tigger: Heh. Sure I did. It's what Tiggers do. It's fun, fun, fun, fun, fun. And the wonderful thing about Tiggers is I'm the only one.

(Christopher Robin pushes Tigger to tree)

Pooh Grit: What a coincidence. Cause I'm the only cold-hearted, one-eyed marshall who wants to bring you in for a reward.

Jeff Bridges: That's not quite true, little bear. I believe you stole my identity.

Christopher Robin: Jeff Bridges?

Jeff Bridges from "Tron": You should talk. I believe that reward is mine.

Christopher Robin: Jeff Bridges from "Tron"?

Young Jeff Bridges from "Tron": Says you, old man.

Christopher Robin: Young Jeff Bridges from "Tron." You know, I don't have enough reward money for all you guys.

Jeff Bridges: Then I guess it goes to the one who gets to him first. Hee-Yah!

(Scene shows to all marshalls running to Tigger, even Christopher Robin who dosen't even move because he's on Eeyore.)

Eeyore: Pathetic.

(Scene goes to the 4 marshalls with horses going for Tigger)

(Tigger closes his eyes and scene gets in book-like)

Christopher Robin: And if you're a true Pooh fan, then you know that this is where the narrator comes in to save Tigger. Only this isn't a true Pooh story.... it's a Pooh Grit story!

(Scene goes to the 4 marshalls crashing into tree creating a boom)

(Scene goes to book)

Christopher Robin: Which is how, as you'll see, I got my revenge after all.

(Scene goes to Christopher Robin in book)

Christopher Robin: 'Cause the other wonderful thing about Tiggers, is that they are so comfy!

(Scene backs up to the remains of Tigger and Pooh Grit and the Tron Bike an the segment ends.)

Trivia

 * Tigger's real full name is Tigger Wynthrop.
 * Tigger spells his name by T-I-Double Ger. However in the Winnie the Pooh series, he spells it T-I-Double Guh-err.
 * Christopher Robin's Dad is based on A. A. Mline who was the father of Christopher Robin Mline.
 * Christopher Robin doesn't have an English accent in this sketch, nor is he referred to by name.
 * In the poster behind Christopher Robin when he was talking about how Tigger bounced his dad said "Wanted Piglet $2,500 Alive $1,500 dead."
 * Owl said "who" because that is what owls say.
 * In the title "Pooh Grit" 2 gunshots are heard and fired.
 * There is a set by Fisher-Price released May 2011 which seemed to make the marshalls crash into Tigger.
 * Owl was seen eating a lollypop which could represent the owl in the Tootsie Pop commercials.
 * When Christopher Robin goes to an outhouse, he wonders if they are talking about the same Pooh. What he means about this is that Pooh sounds like Poo.
 * There was 3 Jeff Bridges. One is from True Grit and the other 2 are from Tron.
 * At the end the sketch turned into a book.
 * Christopher Robin got what was the remains of the 3 marshalls and Tigger.
 * The book said "Tigger grimaces as the posse approached, knowing full well that they would grant him no mercy. He thought back to the days when." and the next page said "The riders crashed into Tigger at top speed, causing a violent explosion that threw debris high into the air. No one."