Ribbitless

This segment is a parody of Limitless and Kermit the Frog.

This segment is from the episode Ribbitless/The Clawfice.

Plot
The segment begins just outside the earth. The narrator explains how he turned into Kermit the Frog by simply eating a butterfly. Once he turned, he learned to play the banjo and even wrote a song about rainbows. He later walks to see what he can do and he stops at a nightclub and enters. There, he met the love of his life, Miss Piggy. It was later revealed that she too ate a butterfly. She also said that she taught herself karate and hit Kermit through the wall. He lands in Fozzie Bear's mouth while he was telling a joke. Then Fozzie says to do everything he can before he transforms back into a unanimated frog. So Kermit decides to audition for American Idol. However, he gets turn down by his audition tape. So Kermit says that they will instead make their own show. And thus, The Muppet Show was born. Later on Statler and Waldorf talk about it and the segment ends with Alfred playing a note.

5-second Cartoon
The segment resumes with Miss Piggy and Kermit. Miss Piggy asks Kermit if he has opening night butterflies and Kermit replies with 'A little". So Miss Piggy takes Kermit bags of butterflies (Which was on the floor) and begins to eat it. The segment ends there.

MAD References

 * Cliffordfield

Characters

 * Narrator (Kermit in this place)
 * Frogs
 * Kermit the Frog
 * Miss Piggy
 * Fozzie Bear
 * Bradley Cooper
 * Animals (Group one and two)
 * Statler
 * Waldorf
 * Alfred E. Neuman

Transcript
(Segment begins at the world in space)

Narrator: What if you could access all your brain, (The Scene slowly goes into world from city into a park) be the best you you could be? Well, that's what happened to me. I'm that guy in the park.

(Scene goes to a man sitting on a bench)

Narrator: No, no, not that guy. That guy.

(Scene goes to frogs)

Frogs: (Ribbit)

Narrator: I'm sure all frogs look alike to you, but trust me, I don't look good.

Frog: (Ribbit)

Other Frog: (Ribbit)

Frog that looks dead: (Blows bubble with mouth full of water)

Narrator: Until one day when, (Scene goes to frogs eating flies) instead of snacking on flies, I accidentally ate a butterfly.

(Scene goes to the almost dead frog brain, where it shows the DNA and him transforming)

Narrator: Not only did I become smarter, but I was taller, leaner, and I could talk.

(Scene goes to the almost dead frog transforming into Kermit)

Kermit the Frog: (With waving his hands around) Hey-oh!

(Record scratches and Kermit blocks his mouth)

Narrator: Even if I did sound different than I thought I would.

(Scene goes to the title "Ribbitless")

(Scene resumes to Kermit with a banjo)

Narrator: I taught myself how to play the banjo overnight and even wrote a really great song about a rainbow.

(Scene goes to Store and Kermit holding 2 songs)

Narrator: Turns out I wasn't the first.

Kermit the Frog: Ohh! Why are there so many songs about rainbows?

(Scene goes to Kermit walking with signs appearing and disappearing)

Narrator: I needed to get out, find out more about the world I was living in. And guess what--turns out it's awesome.

(Kermit stops at a door open (because a guy holding it) leading to a Nightclub and goes in)

Kermit the Frog: ♫ (Dancing) If you like it, then you should have put some green on it (Slaps butt for the 3 ohs) Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. ♫

(Kermit starts to dance the same moves again)

Narrator: I was alive. I was special. Surely there was no other creature out there that could do the things that I--

(Kermit stops dancing)

(Scene goes to Miss Piggy dancing the same moves as Kermit)

Narrator: Uhh. She was a vision. Her hair like silk.

(Scene goes to Kermit amazed with hearts as eyes and sweating)

Narrator: And if I know anything about women, probably had a voice to match.

(Kermit runs to Miss Piggy)

Miss Piggy: (In a Shrill voice) What's up, frog?

(Scene goes to the windows breaking and people panicking)

People: (While Ducking) Ahh!

Miss Piggy: I'm Miss Piggy.

Narrator: (Kermit shrugs shoulders) This voice thing still takes me by surprise.

Kermit the Frog: I'm Kermit. Hey, you didn't accidentally eat a...

(Bell rings)

Miss Piggy and Kermit: Butterfly?

Kermit the Frog: Yeah, I knew it! Me, too! Then I taught myself how to ride a bicycle in a day.

Miss Piggy: I taught myself karate in a hour. See? Hyah!

(Miss Piggy hits Kermit causing him to fly)

(Scene goes to Fozzie Bear on stage)

Fozzie Bear: Ahhh. So the tiger said, "If he's got my blood, does that mean my fur has his sheen?"

(Drums beat)

Fozzie Bear: Waka! Waka!

(Kermit flys past the brick wall and lands in Fozzie's mouth. Also crowd laughs)

(Fozzie takes Kermit out of his mouth)

Fozzie Bear: Oh, thank goodness. I'm dying here.

Narrator: Whoever he was, he was right. Whatever was making us talk probably wouldn't last forever. I had to make my mark while I still had the chance.

(Miss Piggy appears at wall Kermit flew through)

Miss PIggy: Kermie, are you ok?

Kermit the Frog: Miss Piggy, I need your help.

Miss Piggy: Oh, moi?

Kermit the Frog: I want to (Little silence) audition for "American Idol."

(Record scratches)

Fozzie Bear: Not the direction I thought this was headed.

(Scene goes to a camera figure and in an apartment)

(Fozzie cleans camera)

Kermit the Frog: Hope you don't mind us using your apartment, Fozzie.

Fozzie Bear: As long as you don't mind that it's a 5-floor waka walk-up!

(Drums beat)

Miss Piggy: Are you sure you ate a butterfly?

Fozzie Bear: Maybe it was a moth.

(Fozzie and Miss Piggy walk away and camera scene goes to Kermit)

Fozzie Bear: Ok, "American Idol" audition, take one!

Kermit the Frog: (Dancing) ♫ If you like it, then you should have put some green on it. ♫

(Kermit continues to do his dance from before only Narrator talks over him.)

Narrator: This was it. I was on my way. One look at this tape, and they were gonna...

(Scene goes to Kermit reading a paper)

Kermit the Frog: Turn me down?!

Miss Piggy: What? How come?

Fozzie Bear: (Takes paper from Kermit) Says here they don't allow animals.

Miss Piggy: How low can they go?

Fozzie Bear: About J-Low.

(Drums beat)

Fozzie Bear: Ahh!

Kermit the Frog: Forget it. We don't need them. We are super intelligent creatures. And we'll gather all the other super intelligent creatures and make a talent show that's even better than theirs. (Scene goes to a curtain then a box saying "The Muppet Show")

Kermit the Frog: It's "The Muppet Show"! With our very special guest star (Scene goes to Bradley Cooper) Bradley Cooper!

Bradley Cooper: (Gives a wave kiss)

Kermit the Frog: Yay!

(Curtains open to reveal animals dancing)

Animal group 1: ♫ We don't need Ryan Seacrest, that show is past it's prime. It's time to leave the airways or the judges (One animal holds picture of judge) lose their minds. ♫

Animal group 2: We all can sing and dance now, we've become super smart. Our voices still sound goofy but at least it is a start. ♫

(Boing)

(Scene goes to Statler and Waldorf on top of stage)

Waldorf: Hmm. I guess this makes me Steven Tyler.

Statler: Really? It makes me sick to the stomach.

(Both men laugh)

(Alfred plays a single note and Segment ends)

5-second Cartoon
(Scene goes back to Miss Piggy and Kermit)

Miss Piggy: Kermie, do you have opening night butterflies?

Kermit the Frog: A little.

Miss Piggy: Give me some!

(Miss Piggy takes bag of butterflies and begins to eat it.)

(Segment ends again)

Trivia

 * The 3 song titles at the store were "Jazz" "Rainbow" and "Reggae".
 * The signs that were shown while Kermit was walking were "Green Day in Concert", "Frog's Neck Bridge" and "Cars Toad" 3-7 p.m..
 * Kermit the Frog did his dance from Cliffordfield 2 times. (One being in the Nightclub and later for the American Idol audition.)
 * However Kermit the Frog looked different in the American Idol audition here than in the Cliffordfield edition. Basically he looked dark green here and light green in Cliffordfield.
 * The stage that Fozzie Bear was standing on was called "Bearolines".
 * The curtain said "El Muppet Show" however Kermit the Frog said it was "The Muppet Show".
 * At the 5-second Cartoon, Miss Piggy asked Kermit if he had butterflies in his stomach and he says he does and pulls out a bag of butterflies. This talk can also represent the quote "I have Butterflies in my stomach" because Kermit looked a little frightened.
 * When Alfred played a bum note on the sax, he was similar to Zoot from The Muppet Show.