After Bert / Downton Shaggy (Transcript)

(Scene starts at the galaxy)
 * Opening theme*

Cypher Raige: A thousand years ago, Earth was left for a reason. I think it was getting away from a show called "MAD".

MAD News Anchor: Hello? Is anyone listening to these jokes? Hello?

(Static crackles on the TV in a wasteland.)

Cypher Raige: Anyway, we been just back since. Today, I'm on a mission with a special recruit. Specially because he's not just a recruit. He's my son's favorite TV character.

(Ernie waves his hand happily.)

Ernie: Hey, everybody! I'm in a spaceship.

Cypher Raige: And unfortunately, he ain't alone.

Bert: (He started to speak to Ernie by using opposites.) Look, Ernie. My seatbelt is open, now it's closed. (The words, "open" and "closed" appears when Bert is saying these words on-screen. These two words sound with the long "o" sound in red. Bert continues opening and closing his seatbelt when kids laughed and giggled at him off-screen.) Open, now it's closed.

(Cypher Raige gets very frustrated at Ernie and Bert to stop talking in opposites.)

Cypher Raige: Would you stay still? Uggghhh!!!

(An asteroid appears and it hits on the tail of a spaceship.)

Cypher Raige: Mission control. The ship has detected a hit. (The number 3 appears on-screen.) We have three confirmed survivors but we're goin' down!

Bert: (He continues speaking in opposites.) This is up, and this is down. (Bert raised his hand up, then he descends his hand down when the words appear on-screen.) This is up, and this is---

(A huge crash in a spaceship was heard and Bert and the word "down" got sucked into the black hole.)

Ernie: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Cypher Raige: Correction. Make that two confirmed survivors. (The number 2 also appears on-screen.)

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">(Bert's head appear in the title card and then disappears.)

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">TITLE CARD: After Bert

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">(Scene starts at the docking bay.)

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Ernie: Why are I going to do without Bert? We will go together like ham and cheese, peanut butter and jelly, Bert and Ernie. (His head points at Cypher Raige.) Oh, there he is again!

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">