Pirates of the Pair of Tweens

This segment is a parody of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

This segment is from the episode Pirates of the Pair of Tweens/Konan the Kardashian.

Plot
When the fountain of youth works too well, Jack Sparrow is stuck babysitting a couple of tweens.

Characters

 * Captain Jack Sparrow
 * Angelica
 * Edward "Blackbeard" Teach
 * Young Blackbeard
 * Young Angelica
 * Crocodile
 * Plankton
 * Willy Wonka
 * Oompa-Loompas

Transcript
Blackbeard: At last, we have found the fountain of youth!

(Scene goes to Jack Sparrow, Angelica and Blackbeard's faces)

Jack Sparrow: Which, I may add, (Scene backs out to show Fountain of Youth) is not nearly impressive as the fountain at the mall.

(Scene goes to the Keel Mall's big fountain and people around it.)

(Scene goes to Angelica holding a bucket and standing close to the Fountain of Youth)

Angelica: Quickly, let us drink it so we can live forever.

(Scene backs out to Blackbeard)

Blackbeard: Now, let me just grab a bendy straw, and we drink!

(Angelica and Blackbeard drink the Fountain of Youth only to turn smaller and surprise Jack Sparrow)

Young Blackbeard: What the--I wanted to live forever, not have to live through puberty again.

Young Angelica: You said this would work!

Young Blackbeard: Did not!

Young Angelica: Did too!

Young Blackbeard: Did not!

Young Angelica: Did too!

Young Blackbeard: Did not!

(Scene backs to Jack Sparrow who is talking while Angelica and Blackbeard argue)

Jack Sparrow: Great. Now I'm a babysitter.

(Scene goes to the title "Pirates of the Pair of Tweens" with an Alfred E. Neuman skeleton behind with crossed bones)

(Scene goes back to the ship with Jack Sparrow and Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica standing outside of it)

Jack Sparrow: All right, (Scene zooms in on Jack Sparrow) everybody. Get back on the ship. (Scene goes to Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica)

Young Blackbeard: We can't. (Scene backs out to show a sign saying how tall you need to be to ride the "Pirates of the Caribbean" We're not tall enough.

Jack Sparrow: Get on the ship, or you'll both be keelhauled.

(Scene zooms in on Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica)

Young Angelica: Ooh! I always wanted to go to the Keel Mall.

(Scene goes to Jack Sparrow)

Jack Sparrow: Wait, what?

(Scene goes to The Keel Mall with Young Angelica and Young Blackbeard laughing while they run and grab Jack Sparrow around)

(Scene goes to Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica playing in the ball pool while Jack Sparrow sits unhappily)

(Scene goes to Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica trying on new clothes and forcing Jack Sparrow to buy them with his credit card and causing the register to ding)

(Scene goes to an unhappy Jack Sparrow watching Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica play cannon tag. Young Angelica accidentally hits Jack Sparrow with cannon too. Also, laughter and indistinct shouting can be heard)

(Scene goes to an exhausted Jack Sparrow sitting on a bench with shopping bags)

Jack Sparrow: Ugh. Are my salty dogs barking?

(Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica walk towards Jack Sparrow)

Young Blackbeard: I'm bored.

Jack Sparrow: Well, then, why don't you do us both a favor and walk the plank?

Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica: (Gasp) (Scene zooms in on them) Planking? That's a great idea!

(Scene goes to Jack Sparrow)

Jack Sparrow: Wait, what?

(Scene goes to Young Blackbeard planking on the first line of the ship's fort mast, Young Angelica on the second and Jack Sparrow on top with no lines but just a circle hold)

Jack Sparrow: Ow.

(Scene goes to Jack Sparrow planking on a crocodile while he growls)

Jack Sparrow: Ow.

(Scene goes to Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica and Jack Sparrow planking on the outside of a treasure chest)

Jack Sparrow: (Groans)

(Scene goes to Jack Sparrow planking on top of a restaurant called "The Crabby Crust" with Plankton on top of him)

(Scene zooms in on Plankton)

Plankton: I am king of this!

(Plankton plops down and scene goes to an exhausted Jack Sparrow)

Jack Sparrow: Oh, hi, diddly dee, (Jack Sparrow lays down on the bench) a pillow and slippers for me.

(Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica walk up to Jack Sparrow)

Young Angelica: Can we go to the movies?

(Scene goes to Jack Sparrow)

Jack Sparrow: (Groans) I just want to--is rest a thing? Can I say "rest" (Scene backs out) and just have it mean what I think it means?

(Scene goes to Young Blackbeard and Young Angelica)

Young Angelica: Whatever. (They start to walk away) See you later, Captain Jack Lame-O.

(Scene goes to Jack Sparrow)

Jack Sparrow: Ugh. I never knew that chaperoning two kids could be (Scene zooms in on him) so much work.

(Scene backs out to show Willa Wonka)

Trivia

 * The Crabby Crust is parody of the Krusty Krab where SpongeBob SquarePants is the restaurant's fry cook from the TV Show of the same name.
 * When the kids bloated from eating ice cream, it was similar to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. When Violet bloated so much that she was helpless as a beach ball for eating Unstable The-Course-Meal Gum. The dwarfish teenagers just exploded.
 * Antagonist: Willy Wonka, possibly
 * Johnny Depp portrayed both Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean film series and Willy Wonka in the 2005 film adaption of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
 * Alfred E. Neuman appeared as a Skeleton (title) and Oompa-Loompa.