I Love You, Iron Man

This segment is a parody of I Love You, Man and Iron Man 2.

This segment is from the episode I Love You, Iron Man, Ben 10 Franklin.

Plot
Iron Man searches for a guy friend.

Characters

 * Iron Man
 * War Machine
 * Whiplash
 * Pepper Potts
 * JARVIS
 * Spider-Man
 * Optimus Prime
 * Doctor Doom
 * Robot Clone
 * Nick Fury

Transcript
[groans]

Iron Man and War Machine: Patty cake, patty cake, bake this man!

[clinks]

[War Machine flies off]

Iron Man: Now that Whiplash is gone, the government of my back, it looks like it's just you and me, kid.

Iron Man: So, whatcha doing?

Pepper Potts: Working.

Iron Man: Wanna turn the dog into an Iron Dog?

Pepper Potts: No.

Iron Man: Wanna replace Nick Fury's eyepatch with a waffle?

Pepper Potts: No.

Iron Man: You wanna...

Pepper Potts: Look, I like being your girlfriend, but maybe you should find a guy friend.

Iron Man: Jarvis is a guy. Right Jarvis?

JARVIS: I'm just a machine. Man, get a real friend.

Iron Man: Sheesh, and I thought iron was cold.

[title]

Iron Man: This is great Spidey. I love New York. Where we going? The club? The four seasons?

Spider-Man: Better!

Iron Man: And...we're at your parents house.

Spider-Man: She's my aunt actually. So what do you wanna play? Warcraft? Magic?

Iron Man: Magic? What are you, 16?

Spider-Man: Yes, actually.

Iron Man: Oh, uh, hey, look, the, uh, Iron Signal. Gotta go! Cool if I use your skylight?

Spider-Man: I don't have a-

[Iron Man flies off]

Iron Man: I gotta say Optimus Prime is a pretty cool name.

Optimus Prime: What are you doing? I'm Optimus Prime.

Iron Man: Oh, your profile said you were a truck so I figure-

Optimus Prime: I have the power to change to a truck.

Iron Man: I think the power to update your profile pic might be more helpful.

[Optimus Prime un-friends Iron Man]

Iron Man: I just figure we have alot in common so-

Doctor Doom: Ooh, ooh, I never had a metal friend before. You want a cape like mine? Then we can look exactly alike.

Iron Man: Actually I, I, I think okay without the-

Doctor Doom: You're right. You're right. I think a scarf and a hat will look better on you.

Docotr Doom: Ooh, now we can rule the together and make all sort of fun stuff. Okay. Okay. I'm the leader of Latveria, and, uh, I stand like this. What do you do?

Doctor Doom: I like mine better.

Iron Man: They're no good friends anywhere.

War Machine: Maybe the answer is closer than you think.

Iron Man: What the--How long had you been in there?

War Machine: 'Bout a week and a half. Battery died and I been stuck in here ever since. Didn't you hear me yelling?

Iron Man: No.

[one week earlier...]

War Machine: Tony, behind you, I'm stuck in this!

War Machine: Anyway, what I'm trying to say is maybe a friend is someone who shares the same interest and fashion sense.

Iron Man: I think I know what you mean.

Pepper Potts: You built a robot duplicate of yourself?

Robot Clone: Hey, loser, let's ditch Peter Piper here and have some real fun.

Iron Man: Wow, I never realize I'm awesome!

[clink]

Robot Clone: Now give me the Lamborghini keys and let's get outta here.

Iron Man: My car. I drive.

Robot Clone: My car. I drive.

[groans]

[groans]

Pepper Potts: Your own robot clone beat you up.

Iron Man: I don't get it. It's a perfect replica of me. Why is it such a jerk?

Pepper Potts: Uh, what are we gonna do?

Iron Man: Wanna turn the dog into an Iron Dog?

War Machine: Tony, look, we need to talk.

Robot Clone: No thanks, Bore-Machine.

War Machine: Listen, I'm constantly trying to be nice to you and you always turn me away. I'm sick of it! You are the worst friend ever!

[gun fires]

[boom]

Iron Man: Way to go! You destroy the robot me.

War Machine: Robot you. Oh, yeah, yeah, the robot you.

Iron Man: This whole time I needed a friend, and you were here all along.

War Machine: I don't know if I wanna be your friend, Tony.

Iron Man: I'll pay you a million dollars.

[cash register ring]

War Machine: I love you, Iron Man﻿.

Trivia

 * When Optimus Prime un-friends Iron Man on Facenook (parody of Facebook), a message to Megatron reads: How you doin man?? U see Bumblebee's new paint job? LOL so gross!! T-T