After Bert

After Bert
From Season	4
From Episode	91
This is a	Movie Segment
Aired along with	Downton Shaggy
MAD Parody Number	181

After Bert is a crossover between Columbia Pictures' After Earth and Sesame Street.

This segment is from MAD Season 4, Episode 13 (91): After Bert / Downton Shaggy.

Summary

The danger is real as Will Smith crash lands onto a planet filled with a bunch of Muppets!

References

• After Earth
• Sesame Street
• The Muppet Show

MAD References

After Bert

• MAD News

Characters

• Will Smith / Cypher Raige
• MAD News Anchor (cameo on TV)
• Ernie
• Bert (deceased before the title card)
• Slimy (as a mutant)
• Big Bird (as a giant monster)
• Super Evolved Grover (in green / only talking mutant)
• Miss Piggy
• Captain Link Hogthrob
• Dr. Julius Strangepork

Transcript

(Scene starts at the galaxy)

Cypher Raige: A thousand years ago, Earth was left for a reason. I think it was getting away from a show called "MAD".

MAD News Anchor: Hello? Is anyone listening to these jokes? Hello?

(Static crackles on the TV in a wasteland.)

Cypher Raige: Anyway, we been just back since. Today, I'm on a mission with a special recruit. Specially because he's not just a recruit. He's my son's favorite TV character.

(Ernie waves his hand happily.)

Ernie: Hey, everybody! I'm in a spaceship.

Cypher Raige: And unfortunately, he ain't alone.

Bert: (He started to speak to Ernie by using opposites.) Look, Ernie. My seatbelt is open, now it's closed. (The words, "open" and "closed" appears when Bert is saying these words on-screen. These two words sound with the long "o" sound in red. Bert continues opening and closing his seatbelt when kids laughed and giggled at him off-screen.) Open, now it's closed.

(Cypher Raige gets very frustrated at Ernie and Bert to stop talking in opposites.)

Cypher Raige: Would you stay still? Uggghhh!!!

(An asteroid appears and it hits on the tail of a spaceship.)

Cypher Raige: Mission control. The ship has detected a hit. (The number 3 appears on-screen.) We have three confirmed survivors but we're goin' down!

Bert: (He continues speaking in opposites.) This is up, and this is down. (Bert raised his hand up, then he descends his hand down when the words appear on-screen.) This is up, and this is---

(A huge crash in a spaceship was heard and Bert and the word "down" got sucked into the black hole.)

Ernie: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Cypher Raige: Correction. Make that two confirmed survivors. (The number 2 also appears on-screen.)

(Bert's head appear in the title card and then disappears.)

TITLE CARD: After Bert

(Scene starts at the docking bay.)

Ernie: Why are I going to do without Bert? We will go together like ham and cheese, peanut butter and jelly, Bert and Ernie. (His head points at Cypher Raige.) Oh, there he is again!

Cypher Raige: I'm gonna tell you what you're gonna do, (Shows a monitor displaying the outline of the ship.) there's an emergency beacon in the tail section of our ship real apart from us. You need to retrieve it.

Ernie: "Emergency bacon"? Why would we need "emergency bacon"? You'd think water would be first on the list, but bacon?

Cypher Raige: I said "beacon", not "bacon", it alert the others where we are. I get it myself, but these shoes I bought are a size too small and I'm getting a blister. Also, there's some crazy monsters out there 'cuz, well, you know where we are?

Ernie: No, sir.

Cypher Raige: This is... EARTH! (Dramatic music plays)

Ernie: Well, duh! I got that part! "Earth".. Thanks for the tip, Magellan. (Walks out of the ship.) "Earth" he says, I thought you're gonna say "101st Street" or "New York". Heck, "North America" would have been more specific. "Earth", why don't you say "On Dirt"?

Cypher Raige: Alright, listen, everything on this planet is evolved, (Cuts to Slimey the Worm hanging from a lamppost that has the iconic Sesame Street sign, who has evolved into a giant roaring worm monster. Ernie walks around Sesame Street, as Cypher Raige talks to him though a communication voice) so they're gonna be bigger and meaner than you remember.

Ernie: Please, I used to be neighbors with Big Bird. How much bigger could things get? (Looks up, and sees that Big Bird has grown at least 50 times bigger.) Uh, what was that about "meaner"? (Big Bird roars, as he has now evolved into a giant pterodactyl-bird hybrid monster, Ernie screams and runs for his life.)

Cypher Raige: Dude, you're going the wrong way!

Ernie: I'm afraid!

Cypher Raige: Danger is real, fear is a choice..

Ernie: Then I choose to be really really afraid!

Cypher Raige: Use your suit! It's equipped with wings.

Ernie: Wings? Pfft! Now he tells me.. (Jumps off a cliff, and activates his built-in wings. Ernie starts to fly, with Giant Big Bird on his tail, ready to eat him alive!) Ahh! I'm done for!

Super-Evolved Grover: (Shows up flying as laughter and applause is heard from the audience, and he shows that he also evolved into a muscular version of himself.) Never fear! Super-Evolved Grover is here..! (Giant Big Bird eats Super-Evolved Grover whole in one bite, and starts happily chewing and flys the other way.)

Ernie: Phew! I'm okay! (Flys down and arrives at the damaged tail section of the ship) Alright, I'm I'm the tail section of the ship. Where's the beacon?

Cypher Raige: Ernie, wait. I'm tracking a life-form moving toward you. (Dots appear on the screen and are counting toward Ernie's head.) 50 meters... 20... 10... It has found you.

Ernie: Ahhh!! (Zooms out and reveals that the "life-form" is actually Captain Link Hogthrob, First Mate Miss Piggy, and Dr. Julius Strangepork.) What the? Pigs?

First Mate Miss Piggy: Not just any pigs. Pigs in Space.

Link Hogthrob: Hmmm, yes. We noticed your homing beacon and came in to rescue you.

Ernie: Really? That's wonderful! Oh, thank you so much. Look! (Notices the pigs' ship, the Swinetrek) You got a ship and everything.

Link Hogthrob: Of course. Otherwise, we couldn't be... (the Swintrek blasts off into space as the "Pigs in Space" logo appears.) PIIIIIGGGSS IIINNN SPAAAAACCEE!!

Cypher Raige: Uh, hello? Ernie? Huh, guess he was right. Turns out, it WAS "emergency bacon" after all. (Chuckles, suddenly the Giant Big Bird tears through the ceiling, roars ferociously, and eats the camera; the segment ends.)

Trivia

• This is the first time After Earth gets spoofed.
• This is the 13th time Sesame Street showed up.
• Ernie and Bert were depicted by live-action puppets against a green screen, and the rest of the characters were animated, and Ernie and Bert don't have ears in this parody.
• Bert is speaking to Ernie while he is doing opposites. For example, he says "open" and "closed", then he says "up" and "down". This is a flashback for childhood memories.
• Another flashback for childhood memories is that Will Smith is speaking in numbers.
• There is a difference between two words, "beacon" and "bacon". Will Smith says beacon and Ernie says bacon.
• "Pigs in Space" is one of the segments in the Muppet Show.
• There are lots of cameos of parodies found in the DVD rack, such as Pokémonsters, Inc., Betty White & the Huntsman, Life of Rhyme, The Amazing Spider-Minaj, ParaMorgan, Dark Knight at the Museum, Linkong, The Perks of Being a Wallcrawler, "S" Cape from Planet Earth, Fast Hive, Spy vs. Spy, and others.