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Skit from Demise of the Planet of the Apes/ The Celebrity Ape-rentice

Transcripts Act 1[]

Announcer: What happens when a small town Mayor accidentally appoints an ape as Sheriff?

Mayor: I meant to write Bob, but I accidentally wrote Bobo!

Announcer: You get APE SHERIFF, the hilarious new sitcom about a town that learns to live with it's mistakes.

Mayor: I deputize thee as Sheriff! Here's your badge, your hat, and here's your gun!

Director: Wait, don't give him a gun! He's a monkey for crying out loud! Cut, cut, get down, everybody get down!!!!!!

Announcer: APE SHERIFF!... has been cancelled.

(segment ends)

Transcripts Act 2[]

Announcer: What happens when an ape accidentally gets hold of a gun on a TV show?

Director: Basically, we didn't think this through and now the ape won't put down the gun.

Announcer: You get APE SHERIFF, the new reality series about a casting crew held hostage by a gun-toting ape!

Director: And of course some genius gave him a credit card, so now he has unlimited amunition as well.

(Scene goes to Bobo throwing amunition at the people)

Actor/Mayor/Idiot: He had a gun! What was I supposed to do? (he dodges Bobo's shots)

Lois: I think I can make it to the phone.

Actor/Mayor/Idiot: Lois, don't be a fool, he can smell you!

Lois: No, I think I can make it.

(Lois runs to the phone while getting shot from behind)

Actor/Mayor/Idiot: Come back, don't do it! I think we need to rethink this! (mayor dodges a shot and shrieks.)

Announcer: APE SHERIFF, life immating art, immating a monkey.

Woman: Uhh, his laws are so arbitrary.

(Segment ends again)​

5 Second Cartoon[]

(Bobo shoots a man reaching for a donut.)

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