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Average-ers is a take-off of the Avengers.

This segment is from MAD Season 3, Episode 9 (61): Average-ers / Legend of Dora.

Summary

Nick Fury needs to save the world with whatever heroes don't have their own movies to make.

References

MAD References

Characters

Transcript

(Starts at the base... where Pokie is unexpected to appear... and Hulk goes on an unexpected rampage for more screen time.)

Nick Fury: Professor Selvig! Hawkeye! How's the cube?

Professor Selvig: Just fine, Director Fury.

Nick Fury: Really. Cause it looks like it's about to unleash EVIL into this world!

Professor Selvig: Oh, THAT cube. I thought you meant (holds a rubiks cube) this one. Yeah, That one's ready to blow.

Hawkeye: I'll stop it!

(Hawkeye stops the winding and out pops Pokie)

Pokie: SURPRISE!

Nick Fury: GET HIM!

(Pokie pokes Professor Selvig, Hawkeye, and two gaurds)

Pokie: Poke, poke, poke, poke, steal!

Four Evil Poked Guys: AAAAAAHHHH!

Nick Fury: We need to get that cube back! But it's gonna take someone EXTRORDINARY!

Phil Coulson: Uhh, Superman's actually busy at the moment.

Nick Fury: How about someone REALLY GOOD?

Phil Coulson: Batman has his own movie this year.

Nick Fury: WELL?! WHO DO WE HAVE?!

(Title card: Average-ers)

Captain America: Captain America reporting for the Average-ers, sir!

Nick Fury: Good. A power source with unimaginable strengh is been stolen by a guy named Pokie.

Captain America: Um, Pretty sure his name is Loki.

Nick Fury: Were you here?! Do you see all the poking he was doing? I like MY name better!

Captain America: Where is he now?

Black Widow: Doing what all super villians do, a speaking tour.

(At the "Three Lo-Keys To Happiness" tour)

Pokie: And that's why I will one day rule you all! Any questions?

Old Man: Yeah, I came in late. Has the Hulk shown up yet?

Pokie: No, because we need EXPOSITION!

Captain America: Alright Pokie! You're coming with Captain America!

Iron Man: Not so fast! He's coming with IRON MAN!

Thor: Nah! Pokie is coming with THOR!

Old Man: How about Hulk? Can the Hulk show up NOW?

Captain America, Iron Man, Thor: NO, NOT YET!

(Back at base)

Nick Fury: Good work, team! Pokie is now our prisoner!

Black Widow: Wait...That's been his plan all along. To get on board and get Bruce angry so he turns into the Hulk!

Nick Fury: How can you tell?

Black Widow: Cause he's making him watch Annoying Orange.

Bruce Banner: Did you say angry or bored?

(On board a fighter jet)

Professor Selvig: Hawkeye, our evil eyes means we're a team now, how do you plan on getting Pokie out of that ship? Hammer? Shield? Repulsar rays?

Hawkeye: Better! I have an arrow!

Professor Selvig: Best of luck to you.

(Launches rocket, which rips apart the ship)

Nick Fury: THE SHIP IS BEING RIPPED APART!!

Black Widow: Is it the Hulk?

Nick Fury: No. Luckilly we got Bruce AWAY from Pokie just in time!

(Another room.)

Captain America: How are you feeling?

Bruce Banner: Fine.

Tony Stark: Good! Cause we got to suit up and get ready for the final battle!

Bruce Banner: Wait, the movie's almost OVER?! (goes angry) HULK'S HARDLY IN IT!

(Bruce turns into the Hulk)

Hulk: Give Hulk less screen time than everyone else! (Slams Cap and Tony)

(JUST THEN...)

Hulk: (While running behing Black Widow) Make Hulk run behind Scarlett Johannson!

(Cuts to Stan Lee and some other guy)

Stan Lee: Excel--

Hulk: (Beats down Stan Lee) Give Stan Lee more screen time than Hulk!

(Hulk runs to the Whedon house)

Hulk: (Beats down Joss Whedon) Give Firefly only one season!

(Back at base)

Phil Coulson: Has anyone seen Mark Ruffalo? I want to get him to sign my Edward Norton Hulk DVD.

(Hulk barges in)

Hulk: Let Norton have his whole movie as Hulk, will ya?!

(Phil Coulson goes through a portal, and...)

BLAM!

Iron Man: Look at that. Thanks to Coulson, we banded together and Pokie was destroyed.

Black Widow: But that's not how...

Iron Man: Trust me, it's the same thing. Just quicker.

Bruce Banner: What happened?

Hawkeye: Well I turned good again, the villian was destroyed, and now were a team just in time for the credits.

Bruce Banner: Wait! The movie's OVER?! (goes angry again) HULK'S HARDLY IN IT!!

(Bruce Banner turns into the Hulk)

Hulk: HULK WANT MORE SCREEN TIME!!

(Hulk crashes the camera and segment ends)

5-second Cartoon

(The Avengers are eating lunch.)

Hulk: (calmly) Okay, that's enough time.

Trivia

  • Antagonists: Pokie and Hulk / Bruce Banner
  • This is the 34th segment that the name of a MAD parody is said.
  • Eric Bana was the only actor in the Hulk series to not be mentioned in this sketch.
  • First time the Annoying Orange gets spoofed.
  • Thor is not seen in the final battle and Hulk attacks the Avengers, he only appeared in to capture Pokie with Iron Man and Captain America, and Bruce Banner / Hulk watching the Annoying Orange.
  • This sketch was originally going to spoofed with Total Recall, so instead, it was spoofed alone.
  • Disgruntled by a lack of screen time, Hulk attacks the following people:
    1. Captain America and Iron Man (Because Hulk got less screen time than Everyone else)
    2. Black Widow (Hulk thinks he's running behind Scarlett Johansson)
    3. Stan Lee (For giving him more screen time for Hulk)
    4. Joss Whedon (For not making Firefly longer than one season)
    5. Phil Coulson (For owning a DVD of the Incredible Hulk)
  • Instead of "HULK SMASH!", it's "HULK WANT MORE SCREEN TIME!"
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