Battleship vs. Titanic is a crossover between Battleship and Titanic.
This segment is from MAD Season 3, Episode 3 (55): Battleship vs. Titanic / Jurassic Parks and Recreation.
Summary[]
After dodging the very same iceberg that sunk it, the mighty RMS Titanic encounters an alien battleship!
References[]
Characters[]
- Jack Dawson
- Rose DeWitt Bukater
- Alex Hopper
- Cora Raikes
- Talking Door
Transcript[]
[Scene: The bow of the RMS Titanic during her maiden voyage, with Jack Dawson and Rose DeWitt Bukater admiring the sight. That voyage may be familiar... but what happens next is where the familiarity ends...]
Rose DeWitt Bukater: [VO] I remember that voyage like it was yesterday...
Rose: I feel like I'm flying, Jack.
Jake Dawson: I feel like I'm king of the world!
Rose: I feel like we've done this before.
Jack: We have, but now we're in 3D, so maybe now they'll see that iceberg better.
[Cut to the Bridge. The Helmsman mans the wheel, while the Spotter uses his 3D glasses, taking a closer look, to spot the iceberg that had tragically cut short the Titanic's voyage one fateful night.]
Spotter: Iceberg straight ahead!
[The Helmsman spins the wheel to port in reflex. The Titanic swerves port around the iceberg in time to evade collision and avert disaster. The Spotter whews and the helmsman sighs in relief that the infamous Titanic disaster never happened. But as the old saying goes: out of the frying pan, into the fire...]
Spotter: [Re-equips 3D glasses] [Gasp] Alien Battleship straight ahead!
[Out of the depths, the tail of the Regent battleship, obviously displaced in time, emerges.]
Rose: What could they want?
[Enter Adm. Shane, also displaced in time, also wearing 3D glasses.]
Adm. Shane: They want to blow you to smithereens.
Jack: How do you know?
[The Regent battleship raises the forcefield, opens up the torpedo bays and fires off a red peg torpedo, finishing off a nearby warship, already hit with 2 pegs, sending it straight to Davey James' locker.]
Adm. Shane: They sunk my Battleship!
[The alien battleship fires off a burst of three red torpedo pegs at the Titanic. Jack, Rose and Shane brace themselves...]
(Title card: Battleship vs. Titanic)
Adm. Shane: These aliens are like nothing you've ever seen before. I mean, i assume no one has seen Transformers right?
"Oh I have."
Adm. Shane: Anyone else?
"Nope."
"Nuh-uh."
"Not me.
Jack: Only Transformers 2.
Adm. Shane: Alright, we need to hit them with all the missiles you have.
Jack: Missiles? This is a luxury cruise liner.
Adm. Shane: Well then... we have no choice.
"Alright, women & children first."
Jack: POW! Ka-Blam!
Rose: Boom!
"Missile Noises!"
"Yeah. I don't think this is working. You have any other ideas?"
Jack: I do everyone to the lower decks.
Adm. Shane: How's it look?
Jack: Great, but uh... hey would you in the back feel comfortable taking off your exoskeleton?
"Admiral Shane, the aliens have taken control of the Titanic's rear."
"Come on you guys this is serious."
Adm. Shane: They may have taken half of the boat but they'll never get all of it.
Adm. Shane: That was a great idea.
Rose: I'll never let go.
Jack: Thank You Rose.
Rose: What? Oh-no I was talking to this plank of wood.
"Later jerk."
Adm. Shane: Well the ship sank but our career survived.
"Guys, guys wait, save me so I can make a sequel to John Carter."
"Oh real nice. Real nice. Well you just watch. John Carter's gonna be huge on DVD people are gonna love it they're gonna watch it over-"
Rose DeWitt Bukater: [VO] I never did see John Carter. But apparently no one else did either. As for Jack I've never spoken of him until now. Not to anyone. Because really, who cares? I married someone else. And that's how I met your father.
Trivia[]
- Antagonists: Aliens
- Protagonist: Alex Hopper, Jack, Rose
- The Battleship gang, Jack, Rose and Alex Hopper were throwing a woman and children, while they were doing missile noises.
- Jack said that Titanic is in now 3D, it's true (also in IMAX 3D).
- The Captain and Admiral Terrance Shane were wearing 3D Glasses (but classic).
- This sketch is a time travel sketch (but U.S.A. Army Forces and Alex Hopper time travel to 1912).
- Chris Cox reprises his role as Taylor Kitsch but as Alex Hopper.
- The captain resembles the cop from HOPS and Alex Hopper was throwing a lady from Potions 11 and HOPS doing missile noises.
Goofs[]
- Three alien missiles were about to destroy the Titanic, but at the end, the Titanic had one alien missile.
- In the movie and real life, Titanic is destroyed by an iceberg, so in this sketch, it is not crashed and also in the movie, Rose was naked to paint, so in this sketch, Rose is clothed and and not naked to paint.