Captain American't is a take-off of Captain America: the First Avenger.
This segment is from MAD Season 2, Episode 14 (40): Captain American't / My Supernatural Sweet 16.
Summary[]
Can Steve Rogers defeat the Red Skull and make it to the performance of his 2:30 show? We'd say he Captain American't!
References[]
- Captain America
- Peggy Carter
- Red Skull
- Bucky
- Nick Fury
- Iron Man
- Thor
- Phil Coulson
- Lady Gaga
- Jack Black
- Ice Age
- King Kong
- the Lord of the Rings
- Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards
MAD References[]
- Captain America's Got Talent
- I Love You, Iron Man
- Ben 10 Franklin
- TransBOREmores 3: Dark of the Blue Moon
- Money Ball Z
- Nix Kidz Pix
Characters[]
- Colonel Chester Phillips
- Dr. Abraham Erskine
- Margaret "Peggy" Carter
- Gollum
- Steve Rogers / Captain America
- Lady Gaga
- Jack Black
- Bucky
- Scrat
- Red Skull
- Nick Fury
- Iron Man
- Thor
- Phil Coulson
Transcript[]
(Segment begins at the "Old Time Pie Shoppe & Super Soldier Test Lab" store)
Chester Phillips: All right. Listen up, people. (Scene goes down to show Chester Phillips) Dr. Erskine has devised a way to turn a normal soldier into a super-soldier. He's also found a way to turn a sandwich into a manwich, but we're at war, so we're going to go with the first one.
(Scene goes to the right to show Abraham Erskine and Margaret Carter)
Abraham Erskine: (Muffled) Good, 'cause I already ate the manwich.
Chester Phillips: Our first volunteer is a man named "Steve Rogers".
Gollum: MY PRECIOUS!
Abraham Erskine: That's not him!
Chester Phillips: Oh, thank goodness.
Abraham Erskine: THAT'S him!
Steve Rogers: MY PRECIOUS desires to join the army!
Chester Phillips: Dog, I think your next project should be improved to CGI in this movie.
Abraham Erskine: Okay, but first... Let's see, defrost peas, pop popcorn, here we go. (Pushes "Super Soldier" button.)
(Steve becomes muscular and his pants fit.)
Steve Rogers: I can't believe it. My pants still fit!
Chester Phillips: Excellent! We now have the perfect soldier to entertain the troops in our USO tour.
Steve Rogers: Wait, entertain the troops? Can't I use my powers to actually fight in the war? (Erskine touches and he swats his hand)
Chester Phillips: How can I put this, son?
(The title shows Captain American't as the shield eventually collapses after the title touches it.)
(Scene goes to Soldiers' Choice Awards as the title shows the same. The scene fades to Margaret Carter who looks at the schedule.)
Margaret Carter: Steve, that is most ridiculous outfit I've ever seen.
Lady Gaga: (Turns around) Actually, I'm Lady Gaga and that's Steve Rogers. (Steve takes a bite out of raw meat.)
Margaret Carter: Okay, I take that back. Steve, you'd be better offering wearing this outfit.
Steve Rogers: Whatever you say.
(The curtains open as the flashlight spots Steve Rogers while the audience cheers.)
Steve Rogers: And the award for Best Wartime Kiss goes to... (Gets slimed as the soldiers laugh hysterically.)
Soldier: That Lady Gaga never disappoints.
(scene cuts to Steve who scrubs slime off then Margaret opens the door.)
Margaret Carter: Cap, your best friend Bucky has been captured by the Red Skull. You have two options: Rescue him with zero chance of survival, or do the 2:30 show.
(Jack Black hosts the show.)
Jack Black: And the award for Best Fat Suit goes to... (Gets slimed as the soldiers laugh again.)
Steve Rogers: I'll take the zero chance of survival. Maybe now I can change this ridiculous outfit.
(20 minutes later, Steve changes his outfit as Margaret looks in confusion.)
Margaret Carter: I thought you were going to change.
Steve Rogers: I did. (Points his finger at the wing) I drew it on the little wingies.
Margaret Carter: That's great. (Camera zooms to her face) We know where Bucky is.
(Scene goes to Steve who sneaks behind the Hydra soldier and grabs him by the neck in his arm.)
Hydra Soldier: (Grunts)
(Scene cuts to Bucky who got kidnapped as Steve enters the room)
Steve Rogers: Bucky!
Bucky: Lady Gaga?
Steve Rogers: (Stammers) No, it's me. Steve.
Bucky: Wait, something's different.
(Steve sets Bucky free.)
Bucky: You get a haircut?
Steve Rogers: Yes, and I'm the world's first super soldier.
(The door whooshes as the camera zooms to Johann Schmidt.)
Johann Schmidt: Correction, I am the world's first super soldier.
(Johann takes off his mask and reveals himself as the Red Skull.)
Steve and Bucky: Eww!
Red Skull: Really? No one's impressed that I made a mask that looks like a real face?
(Steve and Bucky look in confusion.)
Red Skull: Ugh, who needs you? (Runs off to the plane)
(Scene cuts to the Red Skull who runs then Steve and Bucky follow him)
Steve Rogers: He's running to his plane full of bombs! Quick, grab that inexplicable zip line!
(Steve and Bucky hop onto the zip line as the Red Skull starts the plane then Steve and Bucky land on top of the plane.)
Bucky: Hey, we made it! (Falls off) Whoa!
Steve Rogers: (Shouts) Bucky! And I'm over it.
(Scene cuts to Red Skull who flies the plane.)
Red Skull: Nothing can stop me as long as this magic cube powers my technology.
(Steve smashes the cube with his shield three times.)
Red Skull: Gah! Why do I say these things out loud?
(The cube crackles as the Red Skull becomes disappeared for good. Steve uses his dispatch.)
Captain America: This is Captain America. I've defeated the Red Skull, but since this plane has bombs in it and there's no place to land, I guess I have no choice, but to crash it into the ice for 70 years.
Man: (On radio) Actually, that's not true, Cap, you can easily land at...
Captain America: (Places the dispatch) Goodbye, world. Hope this plane has a really long in-flight movie to watch. (Picks Peter Jackson's King Kong) Oh, Peter Jackson's King Kong. Perfect.
(The plane crashes into ice. 70 years later, Scrat comes out of snow and digs the ice.)
Captain America: Wow, thanks for saving me! (Scrat takes the acorn out of the ice) Hey, come back! I... Oh, well. The Avengers will find me. (Chuckles) I mean, who else are they gonna get to lead their team?
(Scene cuts to S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier and Nick Fury)
Nick Fury: Congratulations, soldier. The world will be happy to hear for the first avenger is Lady Gaga.
(The camera pans back to Lady Gaga, Iron Man, and Phil Coulson.)
Lady Gaga: Whoo-hoo!
Trivia[]
- Antagonists: Red Skull and Lady Gaga (again and join the Avengers in the end of this sketch without Captain America.).
- 3rd time Ice Age gets spoofed. 1st was in Star Blecch and 2nd was in Extreme Renovation: House Edition.
- Jack Black hosted in 2006, 2008, and the 2011 Kids' Choice Awards.
- Both Captain America and Jack Black got slimed while giving out awards.
- The awards were Best Wartime Kiss and Best Fat Suit.
- While crashed into the Arctic, Captain America watches Peter Jackson's King Kong.
- Soldiers' Choice Awards is a parody of Kids' Choice Awards.