Transcript[]
I Am Lorax / Modern Family Circus[]
Willie Wizzy: Hi, everyone! Willie Wizzy here with more fantastic products from your friends at Flunco! Ever have your hands full and thought "How am I going to hold more stuff?"
Well, worry no more. Now, that there's Gripples! An extra set of hands here to your chest! Looking for something to keep your family safe! Only one thing comes to my mind!
Bulletproof Security Farts. Farts so thick they leave a seal to protect your loved ones. Hey, this is fun! I like you!
So I'm going to throw in a free Wet Bat. It never dries thanks to nuclear aquanology!
Plus, if you don't blink of the next 10 minutes, we'll throw in a bottle of maximum strength Germ Murder! Get rid of those disgusting germs with just one spray! Did I say "spray?" I meant "shot."
Germ: So drastic!
Willie Wizzy: And if you're still watching, try the new Time Pukin'z. Simply puke through the capsle and send your puke back to any point in history.
Abraham Lincoln: Four score and seven years-- (Puke lands on Lincoln) Well, that speech is too long anyway.
Willie Wizzy: Once again, that's the Gripples, the Bulletproof Security Farts, the Wet Bat, the Germ Murder, and the Time Pukin'z. All waiting for you right in this trash can from Flunco!
MAD's 100th Episode Special[]
Willy Wizzy: Hi, everyone. Willy Wizzy here with more fantastic products from your friends at Flunco! Are you tired of being picked on because your face is covered in gross zits?
Well, now you have the final say with super incredible Lazits! The cream that turns your pimples into laser-shooting zits!
Have you had it up to here with dirty, smelly mimes? Well, guess what! Now there's new fast-pacing Mime Wipes! So forget pretending you're wiping and really doing it. 'Cause each wipe contains a special ingredient: Mime X-80, that completely elimainates overacting.
(flies buzzing)
Mime: Well, now I just feel foolish.
Willy Wizzy: And how many times has this happened to you? You find a leprechaun, but don't want them stinking up your house. Well, now you can have your gold and poop in it, too, with the new Leprechaun Litter Box. Look, no stinks because of the real shamrockiam deodorizing crystals.
Leprechaun: It's the perfect place to leave me Blarney Stone.
Willy Wizzy: Hey, I can't believe you're still watching! So I'm gonna throw in the Nosehair-Proof Security Helmet! 18 layers of Olympic steel that'll protect you when you're talking to Grandpa.
Grandpa: Back in my day, we used sock puppets to cover our feet.
Willy Wizzy: So how much would you pay for all these products? A hundred dollars? A thousand dollars? A gazillion dollars? Well, good! 'Cause that's how much they all cost! A gazillion dollars!
But if you don't call the cops in the next five minutes, I'll throw in the Worm Wallet! Because let's face it, worms are everywhere. So where else you gonna put them? And with a little zipper, those suckers ain't going anywhere.
Once again, that's the Lazits, the Mime Wipes, the Leprechaun Litter Box, the Nosehair-Proof Security Helmet, and the Worm Wallet, all sitting here on this recall shelf here at Flunco!
Items[]
I Am Lorax / Modern Family Circus[]
- Gripples
- Bulletproof Security Farts
- Wet Bat
- Germ Murder
- Time Pukin'z
MAD's 100th Episode Special[]
- Lazits
- Mime Wipes
- Leprechaun Litter Box
- Nosehair-Proof Security Helmet
- Worm Wallet
Trivia[]
- This ad parody first appeared in MAD Season 3, Episode 5 (57): I Am Lorax / Modern Family Circus, and appeared again in MAD Season 4, Episode 22 (100): MAD's 100th Episode Special.
- Innuendo: One of the Flunco! Products were the Gripples, the name is a spoof on Nipples.
- Also, Another product was the "Bulletproof" Security Fart.