Kitchen Nightmares Before Christmas is a crossover between Kitchen Nightmares and Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas.
This segment is from MAD Season 2, Episode 9 (35): Kitchen Nightmares Before Christmas / How I Met Your Mummy.
Summary[]
After getting tired of all the work he's done, Chef Gordon Ramsay is transported to Halloween Town, where he becomes the scariest person there.
References[]
Characters[]
- Jack Skellington
- Chef Gordon Ramsay
- Mayor of Halloween Town
- Creepbury Doughboy / Oogie Boogie
- Arthur Smith
- Kent Weed
- Patricia Llewellyn
- Headless Monster
- Alfred E. Neuman (Head, not so well done)
- Zombie
- Cyclops
- Werewolf
- Imp
Transcript[]
(Segment begins at the Big Time TV Network studios.)
Arthur Smith: Okay, gang! We need something scary to air on Halloween! We need another Gordon Ramsay series!
(Patrica Llewellyn and Kent Weed agree on the idea. Not Chef Gordon, though...)
Chef Gordon Ramsay: Ugh, ANOTHER ONE? Haven't we beaten this to death already?!
Kent Weed: Well, let's see, you're mean on Mondays and Wednesdays, angry on Tuesdays and Thursdays and despicable on Fridays and Saturdays. We need something on Sunday - preferably vicious!
Chef Gordon Ramsay: Ugh, but I'm so tired of it all. (singing in a different voice) I feel an emptiness in my core...
Kent Weed: Is he singing?
Chef Gordon Ramsay: (singing) A twinge until now I have ignored...
Patricia Llewellyn: Funny how his singing voice sounds nothing like his speaking voice.
Chef Gordon Ramsay: (Singing) The yelling has brought me fame and money, but I'd give it all up for some variety... (Accidentally falls into trapdoor poster) AAAAAHHH!!!
Kent Weed: We can afford a trapdoor poster?
Arthur Smith: We can if this new show gets picked up!
Patricia Llewellyn: What show?
(Title Card: Kitchen Nightmares Before Christmas)
(Gordon Ramsay goes into Halloween Town.)
Chef Gordon Ramsay: (Singing)
What's THAT?! Tastes like RAT!
You call that a mummy wrap? It's CRAP!
And those pancakes aren't remotely even flat!
And THAT makes me vomit in your lap!
I can't believe you tried to serve this from a VAA-AAT!
What's THAT?!?!
I was tired of the same stuff, then along came Frankenstein!
He cooked a simple side dish, but IT TASTES LIKE A BEHIND!
These creatures are disgusting, they fill me full of dread!
But merely for their cooking, not because they don't have HEAAAAAAAAADS...
What's THAT?! A SNAKE??!! IT'S FALLING OFF THE PLATE!
I HATE when Rigor Mortis comes too late!
And WAIT! The garnish isn't straight!
It is your fate that I berate to DECIMATE YOU!
I feel alive when I criticize these ugly creatures with 8 eyes! Have I died?!
(Gordon bumps into the way to Halloween Town.)
Chef Gordon Ramsay: "Halloween Town", huh? Even better.
(Scene goes to Jack Skellington's house. The Mayor arrives.)
Mayor: Jack! Jack! I have some bad news! There's someone new in town and he's just as scary as you!
Jack Skellington: What? Not possible! Can he pull his head off like THIS?
Mayor: No.
Jack Skellington: Do his eyes shoot fire like THIS?
Mayor: No.
Jack Skellington: Then what makes him so scary?
Mayor: He's... honest.
Jack Skellington: (Gasps) That IS scary. Better sneak over and have a look.
Mayor: No need. It's being broadcast on Channel 9!
(The Mayor turns on Channel 9.)
Chef Gordon Ramsay: You call this head "well-done"?!?! IT'S STILL BLINKING, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!!! Put it back in the furnace!!
Zombie: Yes, chef.
Chef Gordon Ramsay: Where's the Eye of Newt?! WHERE'S THE EYE OF NEWT?!?!?
Cyclops: I think we're out!
Chef Gordon Ramsay: Oh, you think you're out, do you?! THEN USE YOUR OWN GOOFY EYE!!! [Smacks eye out] Now get out of here you no-talent--
Werewolf: AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooh, that's harsh!
Chef Gordon Ramsay: You call this skin "flaky"?! WHAT ARE YOU, THE CREEPBURY DOUGHBOY?!?!
Oogie Boogie: Heh-heh-heh-heh.
Chef Gordon Ramsay: Oh, you find that funny, eh?! Giggle on THIS, doughboy! (POW!) Come on, giggle! (POW!) Giggle! (POW!) Giggle! (POW!) Giggle! (POW!) Giggle! (POW!) Giggle--
Imp: He's so scary!
Chef Gordon Ramsay: Hello! BRAINS MUST BE SERVED COLD!!!
Jack Skellington: WAIT JUST A MOMENT!
(Jack Skellington arrives.)
Crowd: Jack!
Chef Gordon Ramsay: Great! The wait staff is here! (Hands over a bottle.) Bring this to table 6!
Jack Skellington: Not so fast. So, you're the new kid in town, huh? Think you can just spice up your life by coming to my turf? Well, I've got one question for you: What's your career advice? I'm bored outta my mind down here!
Chef Gordon Ramsay: Hmm, let's see. A scary, soulless ghoul with a talent for frightening people? I may have just the thing. (Calls somebody on phone)
Jack Skellington [replacing Arthur Smith at his job]: Okay, gang! I'm in charge of TV programming now, and I say tonight's lineup is gonna be a SCREAM! [Rips Kent Weed and Patricia Llewellyn's heads off, showing their skulls] HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA!
Trivia[]
- This is the first Halloween segment.
- This segment has similar animation to Fantastic Megan Fox and Flammable.
- The songs "Jack's Lament" and "What's This?" are parodied in this segment.
- This segment is the third main stop-motion segment, the first two being Fantastic Megan Fox and Flammable.
- The posters for Gordon Ramsay's series say "Yell's Kitchen", "I'm Angry at Your Kitchen", and "Ahhhh Kitchens", with Ramsay looking angrier in each one.
- "Yell's Kitchen" was the title used for a Hell's Kitchen parody in the October 2006 issue of MAD Magazine.
- The stop-motion animation for this segment was created at Buddy System Studios. now Stoopid Buddy Stoodios.