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Not a Fan a Montana is a take-off of Hannah Montana.

This segment is from MAD Season 1, Episode 21: Pooh Grit / Not a Fan a Montana.

Summary

Hannah Montana loses all of her fans to Justin Bieber, so she gets rid of him.

References

Characters

  • Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus)
  • Person
  • Cricket #1
  • Cricket #2
  • Lilly Truscott (Justin Bieber in Disguise)
  • Girl
  • Justin Bieber (Everyone likes him more)
  • Usher (Disguised as Billy Ray Cyrus)
  • Billy Ray Cyrus (Usher in Disguise)
  • Billy Ray Cyrus (The Real One)
  • Elvis Presley (Dead man who explodes world)
  • Woman
  • Johnson
  • Narrator (Sounds like Morgan Freeman)

Transcript

(Scene begins with Miley Cyrus reading a Wig Fancy book)

(Somebody knocks on door)

Person: Miss Montana, it's showtime.

(Scene goes to curtains saying HM)

Hannah Montana: Who's ready to party in the U.S.--

(Curtain opens, and Hannah's in the scene... only to be met by crickets chirping.)

Hannah Montana: ...A?

Cricket #1: Told you we should have gone to the Justin Bieber concert.

Hannah Montana: Justin Bieber?! What about me?

Cricket #2: Sorry!

(Title card: Not a Fan a Montana)

Miley Cyrus: Lilly, where did all my fans go?

Lilly Truscott: They're still here.

(Lilly grabs fan mail bag)

Lilly Truscott: Look at all this fan mail.

(Lilly picks a letter)

Lilly Truscott: "Dear Hannah Montana, have you ever met Justin Bieber?"

Miley Cyrus: What?!

(Lilly throws letter away and grabs another one.)

Lilly Truscott: "Hannah, what's your favorite color? Mine is Justin Bieber."

Miley Cyrus: That doesn't even make sense!

(Lilly throws letter and pulls out girl)

Girl: Oh, my gosh, it's Justin Bieber!

(Girl pushes Miley and tries to kiss)

Miley Cyrus: I'm Hannah Montana!

Girl: Oh, sorry.

Miley Crus: Lilly, there's only one thing I can do.

Lilly Truscott: Fall down a well and get on the news?

Miley Cyrus: Hey, that's not a bad ide-- wait, no. (Switches to a sinister mod) Get rid of Justin Bieber.

(Scene goes to Justin Bieber concert)

(Crowd is cheering)

Miley Cyrus: Looks like I'll be getting rid of you Justin time. Hee hee hee. Good thing I don't write my own material.

Justin Bieber: ♫ I Love every part of you ♫

(Miley releases bag)

Justin Bieber: ♫ Let me tell you something ♫

(Justin Bieber does a well-timed kneel to miss the bag and instead hits Miley Cyrus, busting a Miley-shaped hole in the wall.)

Miley Cyrus: Ooh!

(Scene goes to Justin Bieber with ski supplies going skiing)

(Miley appears out of snowman)

Miley Cyrus: A little ski vacation, eh, Justin? Well, instead, get ready for a ski va...eh, I'll think of something later.

(Scene goes to Justin Bieber skiing down mountain with Miley Cyrus following him.)

(Justin Bieber goes left down the hill and Miley goes straight into Deadly Drop.)

Miley Cyrus: (Still in air) Ah shoulda seen this coming.

(Miley falls down)

(Scene goes to Miley holding a box of Beib seed and pouring it onto floor)

Justin Bieber: Meep! Meep!

(Miley hides behind curtain and grabs box)

(Justin Bieber comes and eats seed in a bird way)

Justin Bieber: Beep! Beep!

(Justin Bieber runs away)

Miley Cyrus: No carbs, huh?

(Miley takes a seed and begins to eat it but then gets run over by a bus with its horn honking.)

Miley Cyrus: (With bandage on head) Bieber's always one step ahead of me.

Lilly Truscott: I can't take it anymore, Miley. You're not the only one with a secret.

(Lilly pulls out head only to show Justin Bieber's head.)

Miley Cyrus: Lilly, you're adorable.

Justin Bieber: Miley, I'm Justin Bieber.

Miley Cyrus: WHAT?! Daddy, did you hear what she said?

Usher: I did.

(Hannah (Miley)'s dad takes off head to show Usher's head)

Miley Cyrus: USHER? Oh, thank goodness, I though Billy Ray was my real dad.

Billy Ray: (In closet) Hey!

(Usher closes door to closet)

Miley Cyrus: I can't believe you hid this from me so long.

Justin Bieber: You started it. You've been lying to your fans for ages with your double identity.

Miley Cyrus: Yeah, but my fans don't know that. Wait a second, what's that?

(Suspense music plays)

Justin Bieber: Oh, it's nothing.

Miley Cyrus: Is that...a camera?

Justin Bieber: (Talking to watch) She's on to us. She's on to us.

(Scene goes to emergency control room)

Elvis Presley: Great scott!

Woman: She knows.

Elvis Presley: Johnson, abort! Abort!

Johnson: What does "Abort" mean?

Elvis Presley: Give up on plan "A" and go to plan "B"!

Johnson: (Gasps) But that would mean...

Elvis Presley: We have no choice!

(Scene goes to Elvis hesitating about pressing the "explode world" button but then presses it.)

KABLOOEY!!!

Narrator: And just like the Ancient Mayans predicted, the world would one day end because of Miley Cyrus. Don't-- Don't look it up. Just trust me on this one.

(Justin Bieber is seen riding a spaceship)

Justin Bieber: Meep! Meep!

(Justin flies away and segment ends)

Trivia

  • Hannah was reading a Wig Fancy magazine at the beginning.
  • The girl appears in Hannah's fanmail and later in Justin Bieber's concert.
  • The posters at Bieber's concert said:
    1. We ♥ Justin
    2. The Endieber is Nieber
    3. A picture of Justin Bieber
  • Hannah Montana said a quote that Justin sounds like "Just in".
  • The ski building said "Where Are You sNOW? Ski Lodge and Bieber Garden."
  • The snowman Hannah was in was frowning.
  • There were two ways to go down the mountain: Happy Hill and Deadly Drop.
  • The box that Hannah held said "Beib seed, Grow your own Beib."
  • In this segment Justin Bieber acted like Road Runner and Hannah Montana acted like Wile E. Coyote.
  • Hannah's bandage had a pink spot on it.
  • The end of the world the narrator explained probably meant what Harold Camping idiotically said about the end of the world coming on May 21, 2011. (Keyword: IDIOTICALLY)
  • Miley (not wearing her wig) told the fangirl that she was Hannah Montana, which is uncharacteristic of Miley because that would give away her identity, and how do we know the fangirl won’t tell anybody? I mean, EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT!
  • Antagonist: Justin Bieber and the Past Singers
  • The narrator at the very end sounds remarkably like Morgan Freeman.
  • The other buttons the man didn't push besides the "Explode World" button were:
    1. Cancel Season
    2. Make Funnier
    3. Go to Commercial (Most Reasonable Choice)
    4. Staples
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