Sanjay Patel befriends a talking brain alien named Krang who keeps telling Sanjay to help him destroy the Ninja Turtles.
- Sanjay Patel
- Belle Pepper
- Craig Slithers (cameo)
- Garfield (cameo)
- Bebop (cameo)
- Rocksteady (cameo)
- Pluto (cameo)
- Hello Kitty (cameo)
- Snoopy (cameo, blue collar)
- Shredder (Sanjay's Disguise)
[Sanjay runs into the Sick Puppy Pet Shop]
Singer: Looking for a pet one day,
[Sanjay walks forward in the pet shop, he stops when he sees something. The camera changes view to show Craig, but Craig is soon obstructed when Krang bursts up from the ground in *a vehicle with a huge drill.]
Singer: Sanjay found a talking brain!
[Krang wraps his arm around Sanjay's arm and goes flying right into a bunch of trash cans, creating a cloud of dust.]
Singer: And the perfect match-up was made!
[As the dust clears, Krang falls into Sanjay's lap. Sanjay happily picks him up.]
Singer: Jumped into his arms to say:
Krang: Help me destroy the Ninja Turtles!
Sanjay: What now?
[The title card appears. Sanjay lands on Krang, squeezing the title out of his mouth.]
Singer: Sanjay and Krang!
[Inside the Frycade, Sanjay looks at Belle Pepper while Krang gorges himself on cookies.]
Sanjay: [sighs] Look at her, Krang. There's gotta be a way to get her to notice me!
Krang: I know a way. [The camera zooms in on Krang. The background changes to red, with wave like objects, and a strange sound plays.] Help me destroy the Ninja Turtles!
Sanjay: [Dejectedly] That's your answer to everything.
Krang: Is it?!
[Several monochrome flashbacks play. The same zoom-in and background change occurs every time Krang says "Destroy the Ninja Turtles!" The first one shows Sanjay and Krang standing behind a fence.]
Sanjay: How am I gonna get my frisbee back?
Krang: By destroying the Ninja Turtles?
[Sanjay is doing homework in a workbook. Krang is sitting next to the workbook.]
Sanjay: How do I get the square of the number 6?
Krang: You just multiply 6 by 6, and destroy the Ninja Turtles!
[Sanjay is sleeping in bed.]
Sanjay: How do we capture the flying unicorn?
Krang: Destroy the Ninja Turtles, destroy the Ninja Turtles, destroy the Ninja Turtles.
Krang: Wait, how did you remember that last part? I thought you were asleep!
Sanjay: Look, I'm serious, Krang. I really need your help to impress Belle Pepper.
Krang: [Dejectedly] Fine, I'll help you. [Normally] First things first, we need to work on your wardrobe. [Pulls out a purple cape from under the table] Here, try this on.
Sanjay: [Looking at the cape in confusion] What is this? A purple cape?
Krang: It brings out your eyes. Trust me. [Pulls out a replica of Shredder's helmet.] Also, put this on.
[Sanjay's head is now almost completely covered by the helmet, with nothing but his eyes showing.]
Sanjay: [Worriedly] Now all you can see are my eyes.
Krang: Yeah. And they look great! Finally, the last piece. [Pulls out replicas of Shredder's gloves and shin guards]
[Metal music plays as Sanjay puts on the final costume pieces. The background is red with pink lightning bolt shapes for the duration of the music.]
Sanjay: Why do I need these?
Krang: Girls love danger! What's more dangerous than having knives all over for no reason?
Sanjay: I really don't know about this. [Holds his hand to his chin, then accidentally pokes himself in his right eye with a spike on his right glove.] Yow!
Krang: Oh, come on! When have I ever steered you wrong?
[More monochrome flashbacks, though not like the ones from before.]
Krang: Hey, I found us 2 math tutors! A warthog monster and a rhino man!
[Both anthropomorphic animals growl.]
[Sanjay is standing in front of a building. Krang hands him a laser gun.]
Krang: Here's a laser! Rob that bank!
[The camera zooms out to show the duo standing in front of what is apparently the *"Raddest Bank on Urth"
Sanjay: Wait, what?
[Sirens are heard, implying the police are arriving. Krang runs offscreen.]
[The duo is sitting on a couch in front of a TV. Krang is holding a remote.]
Krang: Let's erase some of these MAD episodes to make room for that show with the ponies. [Pushes a big red button on the remote.]
[Cut back to the Frycade.]
Krang: [Dejectedly] Fine, remember whatever you want. [Normally] But am I or am I not a giant brain?
Sanjay: [Depressingly] You are.
Krang: Exactly! so I must be pretty smart! [Krang pokes his head] So why don't you go over there and talk to her? [Hands Sanjay some white cards] Here. I've prepared you some talking points.
Sanjay: [Walks up to Belle] Uhh, hello. My name is...Shredder.
Unseen person: Hey!
[Pan to the right. The Ninja Turtles have busted into the Frycade.]
Leonardo: It's Shredder! [Leo pulls out his sword] Get him!
[Sanjay screams in pain as he gets beaten up by the Ninja Turtles. The turtles then throw Sanjay back near Krang. Sanjay's shirt and cape have been shredded (no pun intended), but his gloves and shin guards are intact.]
Krang: Looks like they worked you over pretty good, huh?
Sanjay: [Climbs back up to the table] Di...did you do all this on purpose so the Ninja Turtles would beat me up?
Krang: That's not what's important. What's important is that they beat the snot out of you [Krang punches his palm] and now you want revenge. Right?
Sanjay: I guess so.
Krang: Then, behold! The dining of a dark age!
[A flame fills the screen. When it clears, the duo does the old "cheers!" with turtle shells. Sanjay takes a sip from the shell he's holding and laughs. Krang starts laughing as well (although Krang doesn't drink first.). There is then an abrupt zoom out to reveal that the duo is standing on a robot. Sanjay then burps before getting back to laughing.
*"Urth" is likely a misspelling of "Earth" done intentionally by the animators to show a misspelling done by the fictional creators of the bank.
- This is the only appearance of Sanjay and Craig.
- This is a parody of the shows that aired on Nickelodeon are Sanjay and Craig and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
- This is the 52nd time that a MAD parody is brought up.
- This segment is the 200th MAD parody!
- This marks Garfield's eighth appearance and 2nd cameo in MAD.
- In fact, Sanjay has no reason to destroy the Ninja Turtles as it is not reason for wanting to destroy someone has attacked you for being fooled by your "friend".
- In Snoopy's cameo, he wore a blue collar in leau of red. This must be due to red being in use for The Peanuts Movie, which made its world premiere on the evening of 5 November 2015, almost 2 years after MAD ended. It was Snoopy's final appearance on MAD & any media source before The Peanuts Movie premiere in 2015 aside from Metlife Commercials.