Spider-Man shouting to Charlie
Charlie, Sam, and Patrick
The Perks of Being a Wallcrawler is a take-off of the Perks of Being a Wallflower and is spoofed with Spider-Man.
This segment is from MAD Season 3, Episode 22 (74): The Perks of Being a Wallcrawler / Regular Shogun Warriors.
Summary[]
Spider-Man teaches a shy high school student how to be a wall crawler.
References[]
- the Amazing Spider-Man
- the Amazing Spider-Man (2012 film)
- the Spectacular Spider-Man
- Ultimate Spider-Man
- Rankin-Bass' Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
MAD References[]
- I Love You, Iron Man
- Addition Impossible
- The Blunder Games
- The Amazing Spider-Minaj
- FROST
- WALL·E·NATOR
Characters[]
- Spider-Man
- Charlie
- Sam
- Patrick
Transcript[]
(Scene starts at a city)
Charlie: Dear Notebook, tomorrow's the first day of school and I haven't spoke to anyone all summer, but I really want to turn that around.
(Book comes to life)
Notebook: How about if you stop listening to a book and gets some real friends, bozo! Come on, computer! La la la la la la la.
(Computer passes)
(First day of school)
Charlie: (Talking to a tape recorder) First day of school. “Operation: Don’t Be a Dork” is in affect. (Tape recorder comes to life)
Tape Recorder: Not if you keep talking to me, it isn’t! Man, you ARE a wallflower! Come on, pocket protector! (Pocket protector also comes to life) Let’s go! (The pocket protector follows him) La la la la la la.
Charlie: (Hears a couple of teenagers laughing) (Narrating) And that’s when I saw them, (Cuts to Sam and Patrick laughing and dancing together) The two people who could help me— (His Brain comes to life)
Brain: You know, if you don’t talk to somebody soon, I-I’m gonna lose it. Now call me when you man up! (Goes back inside Charlie’s head)
Charlie: (Walks up to Sam and Patrick) Hi, I'm Char-- (Gets taken away by a web) iiiiiiiiiiiie! Hey, what are you doing?
Spider-Man: People don't know this, but I used to be a wallflower just like you. So I'm gonna teach you how to be a cool and confident wall crawler.
Charlie: Yeah, but I don't think--
Spider-Man: You're welcome.
(Title card: The Perks of Being a Wallcrawler)
(School bell rings; Sam and Patrick excitedly walk out of the door, laughing and dancing. Charlie and Spider-Man were watching them from on top of the school building.)
Charlie: I really think I should be hanging out with them.
Spider-Man: You’re not ready yet. First thing we need to do is get you some spider powers. So, (Holds up a bag of spiders) I brought some spiders to bite you.
Charlie: There’s no way a spider bite will give me spider powers.
Spider-Man: Duh! Not normal spiders, but I brought SPECIAL spiders! Let’s see, (Looks into the bag and pulls out a radioactive spider) we’ve got radioactive spiders. (Throws the radioactive spider at Charlie, who gets panicked at the spider crawling around him) We’ve got (Pulls out an extremely buff spider) genetically engineered spiders. (Throws said spider at Charlie) And, (Holds up a spider dressed as a magician) we’ve got magic spiders. (Throws the spider at Charlie, who was still freaking out about the spiders crawling all over him) As my Uncle Ben would say, “With great spiders, comes spiders, spiders, spiders, spiders, spiders, spiders, spiders… (Throws the bag at Charlie; scene cuts to sundown, with Sam and Patrick)
Patrick: C-, ladies and gentlemen! I am below average!
Sam: Below average!
Charlie: I really think I should be with him. I mean, I’m below average too. (Spider-Man grabs his shirt)
Spider-Man: Are you kidding me?! When I’m done with you, you’re gonna be AMAZING! SPECTACULAR! Uh.. ULTIMATE even! Any way, now we’re gonna work on your spider sense.
Charlie: Spider sense? What is this? Is that a thing?
Spider-Man: Of course, it is! It’s the sixth sense that lets you know when you’re in danger! Can you sense it?
Charlie: Well, I can sense that I should be getting as far away from you as quickly as possible.
Spider-Man: Hey, it’s a start! Now sense this chair! (Throws a chair at Charlie, and he gets knocked out unconscious) Yeah, still not there yet. Still not there…
(Cuts to nighttime)
Sam: Woo-hoo! I’m standing up in a truck! Looks t what a free spirit I am!
Charlie: (Spider-Man is tying a rope around his hands) Oh, I wanna be a free spirit!
Spider-Man: Be quiet! Can’t you see I’m trying to teach you how to swing off buildings?!
Charlie: Yeah, but why do you get mechanical web shooters, and I just get ropes?
Spider-Man: Well, as my Uncle Ben would say, “With great—“ (sighs) Who cares? (Pushes Charlie off the bridge holder, and falls down on the bridge. A car is heard screeching) I said SWING, not lie on the cement! (Holds up the rope) Huh, Note to self, make ropes a little shorter. (Cuts to the school prom) Now go out there and how em’ what a cool wallcrawler you are! And they’ll be sure to accept you!
(Patrick crazily wraps toilet paper around Charlie)
Sam: Let’s be psychos together!
Patrick: This is what fun looks like!
Sam: Welcome to the Island of Misfit Toys!
Patrick: Add your “uncley-shame” right here!
Charlie: Hey, Spider-Man! Look, I’m doing it! I’m making friends!
Spider-Man: Great! Let’s make you even more friends! Hey everybody, (Holds up the bags of spiders) these spiders are from Charlie! (Throws the spiders everywhere, causing everyone to panick and scream, they fill up the screen and the sketch ends)
Trivia[]
- This is the second time the Perks of Being a Wallflower gets spoofed. The first was The Perks of Being a Cauliflower from the previous episode.
- Spider-Man gets a new CGI look different from I Love You, Iron Man, Addition Impossible and The Amazing Spider-Minaj.
- The things from Charlie that came to life and left in this segment are:
- His journal
- His computer
- His voice recorder
- His pocket protector
- His brain (it didn't go "la, la, la etc." and bounce off, but appeared in Charlie's head)
- Sam mentions "the Island of Misfit Toys" from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer when she meets Charlie.
- The animation of Charlie's stuff is similar to Sam and Flint (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs) from WALL·E·NATOR.